Pyramids (Discworld 7)

Dios smiled.

'Take the woman,' he snapped, and the captain darted forward and grabbed Ptraci, who hadn't made any attempt to run away. Dios bent down and picked up the prod.

'There are more guards outside,' he said. 'I'm sure you will realise that. It will be in your interests to step forward.'

'Why?' said Teppic, from the shadows. He fumbled in his boot for his blowpipe.

'You will then be thrown to the sacred crocodiles, by order of the king,' said Dios.

'Something to look forward to, eh?' said Teppic, feverishly screwing bits together.

'It would certainly be preferable to many alternatives,' said Dios.

In the darkness Teppic ran his fingers over the little coded knobs on the darts. Most of the really spectacular poisons would have evaporated or dissolved into harmlessness by now, but there were a number of lesser potions designed to give their clients nothing more than a good night's sleep. An assassin might have to work his way to an inhume past a number of alert bodyguards. It was considered impolite to inhume them as well.

'You could let us go,' said Teppic. 'I suspect that's what you want, isn't it? For me to go away and never come back? That suits me fine.'

Dios hesitated.

'You're supposed to say “And let the girl go”,' he said.

'Oh, yes. And that, too,' said Teppic.

'No. I would be failing in my duty to the king,' said Dios.

'For goodness sake, Dios, you know I am the king!'

'No. I have a very clear picture of the king. You are not the king,' said the priest.

Teppic peered over the edge of the camel stall. The camel peered over his shoulder.

And then the world went mad.

All right, madder.

All the pyramids were blazing now, filling the sky with their sooty light as the brothers Ptaclusp struggled to the main working platform.

IIa collapsed on the planking, wheezing like an elderly bellows. A few feet away the sloping side was hot to the touch, and there was no doubt in his mind now that the pyramid was creaking, like a sailing ship in a gale. He had never paid much attention to the actual mechanics as opposed to the cost of pyramid construction, but he was pretty certain that the noise was as wrong as II and II making V.

His brother reached out to touch the stone, but drew his hand back as small sparks flashed around his fingers.

'You can feel the warmth,' he said. 'It's astonishing!'

'Why?'

'Heating up a mass like this. I mean, the sheer tonnage...'

'I don't like it, Two-bee,' IIa quavered. 'Let's just leave the stone here, shall we? I'm sure it'll be all right, and in the morning we can send a gang up here, they'll know exactly what-'

His words were drowned out as another flare crackled across the sky and hit the column of dancing air fifty feet above them. He grabbed part of the scaffolding.

'Sod take this,' he said. 'I'm off.'

'Hang on a minute,' said IIb. 'I mean, what is creaking? Stone can't creak.'

'The whole bloody scaffolding is moving, don't be daft!' He stared goggle-eyed at his brother. 'Tell me it's the scaffolding,' he pleaded.

'No, I'm certain this time. It's coming from inside.' They stared at one another, and then at the rickety ladder leading up to the tip, or to where the tip should be.