Pyramids (Discworld 7)

'What?' he demanded.

'I said, please to come at once, O master!'

On the pyramid itself, on the working surface about halfway up, where some of the detailed work on the inner chambers was in progress, the word 'impressive' was no longer appropriate. The word 'terrifying' seemed to fit the bill.

Blocks were stacking up in the sky overhead in a giant, slow dance, passing and re-passing, their mahouts yelling at one another and at the luckless controllers down on the pyramid top, who were trying to shout instructions above the noise.

Ptaclusp waded into the cluster of workers around the centre. Here, at least, there was silence. Dead silence.

'All right, all right,' he said. 'What's going . . . oh.' Ptaclusp IIb peered over his father's shoulder, and stuck his wrist in his mouth.

The thing was wrinkled. It was ancient. It clearly had once been a living thing. It lay on the slab like a very obscene prune.

'It was my lunch,' said the chief plasterer. 'It was my bloody lunch. I was really looking forward to that apple.'

'But it can't start yet,' whispered IIb. 'It can't form temporal nodes yet, I mean, how does it know it's going to be a pyramid?'

'I put my hand down for it, and it felt just like . . . it felt pretty unpleasant,' the plasterer complained.

'And it's a negative node, too,' added IIb. 'We shouldn't be getting them at all.'

'Is it still there?' said Ptaclusp, and added, 'Tell me yes.' 'If more blocks have been set into position it won't be,' said his son, looking around wildly. 'As the centre of mass changes, you see, the nodes will be pulled around.'

Ptaclusp pulled the young man to one side.

'What are you telling me now?' he demanded, in a camel whisper.[16]

'We ought to put a cap on it,' mumbled IIb. 'Flare off the trapped time. Wouldn't be any problems then . . .'

'How can we cap it? It isn't damn well finished,' said Ptaclusp. 'What have you been and gone and done? Pyramids don't start accumulating until they're finished. Until they're pyramids, see? Pyramid energy, see? Named after pyramids. That's why it's called pyramid energy.'

'It must be something to do with the mass, or something,' the architect hazarded, 'and the speed of construction. The time is getting trapped in the fabric. I mean, in theory you could get small nodes during construction, but they'd be so weak you wouldn't notice; if you went and stood in one maybe you'd become a few hours older or younger or-' he began to gabble.

'I recall when we did Kheneth XIV's tomb the fresco painter said it took him two hours to do the painting in the Queen's Room, and we said it was three days and fined him,' said Ptaclusp, slowly. 'There was a lot of Guild fuss, I remember.'

ved a cloth.

All things are defined by names. Change the name, and you change the thing. Of course there is a lot more to it than that, but paracosmically that is what it boils down to.

Ptaclusp IIb tapped the stone lightly with his staff. The air above it wavered in the heat and then, shedding a little dust, the block rose gently until it bobbed a few feet off the ground, held in check by mooring ropes.

That was all there was to it. Teppic had expected some thunder, or at least a gout of flame. But already the workers were clustering around another block, and a couple of men were towing the first block down towards the site.

'Very impressive,' he said sadly.

'Indeed, sire,' said Dios. 'And now, we must go back to the palace. It will soon be time for the Ceremony of the Third Hour.

'Yes, yes, all right,' snapped Teppic. 'Very well done, Ptaclusp. Keep up the good work.'

Ptaclusp bowed like a seesaw in flustered excitement and confusion.

'Very good, your sire,' he said, and decided to go for the big one. 'May I show your sire the latest plans?'

'The king has approved the plans already,' said Dios. 'And, excuse me if I am mistaken, but it seems that the pyramid is well under construction.'

'Yes, yes, but,' said Ptaclusp, 'it occurred to us, this avenue here, you see, overlooking the entrance, what a place, we thought, for a statue of for instance Hat the Vulture-Headed God of Unexpected Guests at practically cost-'

Dios glanced at the sketches.