Guards! Guards! (Discworld 8)

“Not everyone's as brave as you,” she added, timidly.

“Me?”

“The other week. When you stopped them killing my dragons.”

“Oh, that. That's not bravery. Anyway, that was just people. People are easier. I'll tell you one thing for nothing, I'm not looking up that dragon's nose again. I wake up at days thinking about that.”

“Oh.” She seemed deflated. “Well, if you're sure . . . I've got a lot of friends, you know. If you need any help, you've only got to say. The Duke of Sto Helit is looking for a guard captain, I'm sure. I'll write you a letter. You'll like them, they're a very nice young couple.”

“I'm not sure what I shall do next,” said Vimes, more gruffly than he intended. “I'm considering one or two offers.”

“Well, of course. I'm sure you know best.”

Vimes nodded.

Lady Ramkin twisted her handkerchief round and round in her hands.

“Well, then,” she said.

“Well,” said Vimes.

“I, er, expect you'll be wanting to be off, then.”

“Yes, I expect I had better be going.”

There was a pause. Then they both spoke at once.

“It's been very-”

“I'd just like to say-”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you were speaking.”

“No, sorry, you were saying?”

“Oh.” Vimes hesitated. “I'll be off, then.”

“Oh. Yes.” Lady Ramkin gave him a washed-out smile. “Can't keep all these offers waiting, can you,” she said.

She thrust out a hand. Vimes shook it carefully.

“So I'll just be going, then,” he said.

“Do call again,” said Lady Ramkin, more coldly, “if you are ever in this area. And so on. I'm sure Errol would like to see you.”

“Yes. Well. Goodbye, then.”

“Goodbye, Captain Vimes.”

He stumbled out of the door and walked hurriedly down the dark, overgrown path. He could feel her gaze on the back of his neck as he did so or, at least, he told himself that he could. She'd be standing in the doorway, nearly blocking out the light. Just watching me. But I'm not going to look back, he thought. That would be a really silly thing to do. I mean, she's a lovely person, she's got a lot of common sense and an enormous personality, but really . . .

I'm not going to look back, even if she stands there while I walk all the way down the street. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

So when he heard the door shut when he was only halfway down the drive he suddenly felt very, very angry, as if he had just been robbed.