Moving Pictures (Discworld 10)

'Wouldn't like to have their cleaning bill,' said Poons.

The Lecturer in Recent Runes nudged the Chair heavily in the ribs, or at least at the point where the ribs were overlaid by the strata of fifty years of very good dinners.

'Quiet!' he hissed. 'They're coming!'

'Who?'

'Someone important, by the look of it.'

The Chair's face creased in panic behind his false real beard. 'You don't think they've invited the Archchancellor, do you?'

The wizards tried to shrink inside their robes, like upright turtles.

In fact it was a far more impressive coach than any of the crumbling items in the University's mews. The crowd surged forward against the line of trolls and city guards and stared expectantly at the carriage door; the very air hummed with anticipation.

Mr Bezam, his chest so inflated with self-importance that he appeared to be floating across the ground, bobbed towards the carriage door and opened it.

The crowd held its collective breath, except for a small part of it that hit surrounding people with its stick and muttered, 'What's happening? What's going on? Why won't anyone tell me what's happening? I demand someone tell me, mm, what's happening?'

The door stayed shut. Ginger was gripping the handle as if it was a lifeline.

'There's thousands of them out there!' said Ginger. 'I can't go out there!'

'But they all watch your clicks,' pleaded Soll. 'They're your public.'

'No!'

Soll threw up his hands. 'Can't you persuade her?' he said to Victor.

'I'm not even sure I can persuade myself,' said Victor.

'But you've spent days in front of these people,' said Dibbler.

'No I haven't,' said Ginger. 'It was just you and the handlemen and the trolls and everyone. That was different. Anyway, that wasn't really me,' she added. 'That was Delores De Syn.'

Victor bit his lip thoughtfully.

'Maybe you ought to send Delores de Syn out there, then,' he said.

'How can I do that?' she demanded.

'Well . . . why not pretend it's a click .

The Dibblers, uncle and nephew, exchanged glances. Then Soll cupped his hands around his face like the eye of a picture box and Dibbler, after a prompting nudge, placed one hand on his nephew's head and turned an invisible handle in his ear.

'Action!' he directed.

The carriage door swung open.

The crowd gasped, like a mountain breathing in. Victor stepped out, reached up, took Ginger's hand . . .

The crowd cheered, madly.

The Lecturer in Recent Runes bit his fingers in sheer excitement. The Chair made a strange hoarse noise in the back of his throat.

'You know you said what could a boy find to do that was better than being a wizard?' he said.

'A true wizard should only be interested in one thing,' muttered the Dean. 'You know that.'