Witches Abroad (Discworld 12)

'That's what happens,' said Granny. 'You get too involved with stories, you get confused. You don't know what's really real and what isn't. And they get you in the end. They send you weird in the head. I don't like stories. They're not real. I don't like things that ain't real.'

She pushed open a door.

'Ah. A chamber,' she said sourly. 'Could even be a bower.'

'Doesn't the stuff grow quickly!' said Magrat.

'Part of the time spell,' said Granny. 'Ah. There she is. Knew there'd be someone somewhere.'

There was a figure lying on a bed, in a thicket of rose bushes.

'And there's the spinning wheel,' said Nanny, pointing

* Black Aliss wasn't very good with words either. They had to give her quite a lot of money to go away and not make a scene.

to a shape just visible in a clump of ivy.

'Don't touch it!' said Granny.

'Don't worry, I'll pick it up by the treadle and pitch it out of the window.'

'How do you know all this?' said Magrat.

' 'Cos it's a rural myth,' said Nanny. 'It's happened lots of times.'

Granny Weatherwax and Magrat looked down at the sleeping figure of a girl of about thirteen, almost silvery under the dust and pollen.

'Isn't she pretty,' sighed Magrat, the generous-hearted.

From behind them came the crash of a spinning wheel on some distant cobbles, and then Nanny Ogg appeared, brushing her hands.

'Seen it happen a dozen times,' she said.

'No you ain't,' said Granny.

'Once, anyway,' said Nanny, unabashed. 'And I heard about it dozens of times. Everyone has. Rural myth, like I said. Everyone's heard about it happening in their cousin's friend's neighbour's village - '

'That's because it does,' said Granny.

Granny picked up the girl's wrist.

'She's asleep because she'll have got a - ' Nanny said.

Granny turned.

'I know, I know. I know, right? I know as well as you. You think I don't know?' She bent over the limp hand. 'That's fairy godmothering, this is,' she added, half to herself. 'Always do it impressively. Always meddling, always trying to be in control! Hah! Someone got a bit of poison? Send everyone to sleep for a hundred years! Do it the easy way. All this for one prick. As if that was the end of the world.' She paused. Nanny Ogg was standing behind her. There was no possible way she could have detected her expression. 'Gytha?'

'Yes, Esme?' said Nanny Ogg innocently.

'I can feel you grinnin'. You can save the tu'penny-ha'penny psycholology for them as wants it.'

"5

Granny shut her eyes and muttered a few words.

'Shall I use my wand?' said Magrat hesitantly.

'Don't you dare,' said Granny, and went back to her muttering.