Witches Abroad (Discworld 12)

'Wha' fingers? 'S'all gone dark.'

Magrat and Granny gripped the brim of Nanny's hat and half lifted, half unscrewed it from her head. She blinked at them.

'That's the willow reinforcement,' she said, as the pointy hat creaked back into shape like a resurrecting umbrella. She was swaying gently. 'Stop a hammer blow, a hat with willow reinforcement. All them struts, see. Distributes the force. I shall write to Mr Vernissage.'

naged to move his head a fraction. Granny Weatherwax smiled.

'There!' she said, standing up and brushing a speck of leafmould off her dress. 'You see how sweet life can be, if we all helps one another?'

The witches left around lunchtime. By then the old woman's garden was full of people, and the air with the sound of sawing and hammering. News like Granny Weatherwax travels fast. Three woodcutters were digging over the vegetable plot, two more were fighting to clean the chimney, and four of them were halfway down a new well that was being dug with impressive speed.

The old grandmother, who was still the kind of person who hangs on to one idea until another one dislodges it by force, was running out of saucers to put the milk in.

The witches sneaked away in all the busyness.

'There,' said Magrat, as they strolled down the path, 'it just goes to show how people will pitch in and help, if only someone sets an example. You don't have to bully people all the time, you know.'

Nanny Ogg glanced at Granny.

'I saw you talking to the head woodcutter,' she said. 'What was you talking about?'

'Sawdust,' said Granny.

'Oh, yes?'

'One of the woodcutters told me,' said Magrat, 'that

there's been other odd things happening in this forest. Animals acting human, he said. There used to be a family of bears living not far away.'

'Nothing unusual about a family of bears living together,' said Nanny. 'They're very convivial animals.'

'In a cottage?'

'That's unusual.'

"That's what I mean,' said Magrat.

'You'd definitely feel a bit awkward about going round to borrow a cup of sugar,' said Nanny. 'I expect the neighbours had something to say about it.'

'Yes,' said Magrat. “They said ”oink".'

“What'd they say ”oink" for?'

'Because they couldn't say anything else. They were pigs.'

'We had people like that next door when we lived at - ' Nanny began.

'I mean pigs. You know. Four legs? Curly tail? What pork is before it's pork? Pigs.'

'Can't see anyone letting pigs live in a cottage,' said Granny.

'He said they didn't. The pigs built their own. There were three of them. Little pigs.'

'What happened to them?' said Nanny.

'The wolf ate them. They were the only animals stupid enough to let him get near them, apparently. Nothing was found of them except their spirit level.'

'That's a shame.'