Witches Abroad (Discworld 12)

'Yeah. Horrible. Is this right for a holiday feast or what?'

'I'll swap you a lettuce and tomato.'

'Right. Whatnot/ got[?], Jimmy?'

The underfootman shyly opened his perfect package. There were four sandwiches, crusts cut off. There was a sprig of parsley. There was even a napkin.

'Smoked salmon and cream cheese,' he said.

'And still a bit of the wedding cake,' said the first coachman. 'Ain't you et that all up yet?'

'We have it every night,' said the underfootman.

The shed shook with the ensuing laughter. It is a universal fact that any innocent comment made by any recently-married young member of any workforce is an instant trigger for coarse merriment among his or her older and more cynical colleagues. This happens even if everyone concerned has nine legs and lives at the bottom of an ocean of ammonia on a huge cold planet. It's just one of those things.

'You make the most of it,' said the second coachman gloomily, when they'd settled down again. 'It starts off kisses and cake and them cutting the crusts off, and next thing you know it's down to tongue pie, cold bum and the copper stick.'

'The way I see it,' the first coachman began, 'it's all about the way you - '

never came round to complain about me,' said Nanny happily.

'And always looking at herself in mirrors,' said Granny. 'Prideful as a cat, she was. Prefer to look in a mirror than out of a window, she would.'

'What's her name?'

'Lily.'

'That's a nice name,' said Nanny.

'It isn't what she calls herself now,' said Mrs Gogol.

'I bet it isn't!'

'And she's, like, in charge of the city?' said Nanny.

'She was bossy, too!'

'What'd she want to be in charge of a city for?' said Nanny.

'She's got plans,' said Mrs Gogol.

'And vain? Really vainl' said Granny, apparently to the world in general.

'Did you know she was here?' said Nanny.

'I had a feelin'! Mirrors!'

'Mirror magic isn't bad,' protested Nanny. 'I've done all kinds of stuff with mirrors. You can have a lot of fun with a mirror.'

'She doesn't just use one mirror,' said Mrs Gogol.

'Oh.'

'She uses two.'

'Oh. That's different.'

Granny stared at the surface of the water. Her own face stared back at her from the darkness.