Witches Abroad (Discworld 12)

And then two figures drifted out of the shadows and faced her. She raised the slipper pathetically as they approached in absolute silence, but even in the twilight she could feel their gaze.

The crowds parted. Lily Weatherwax glided through, in a rustle of silk.

She looked Granny up and down, without any expression of surprise.

'All in white, too,' she said, dryly. 'My word, aren't you the nice one.'

'But I've stopped you,' said Granny, still panting with the effort. 'I've broken it.'

Lily Weatherwax looked past her. The snake sisters were coming up the steps, holding a limp Magrat between them.

'Save us all from people who think literally,' said Lily. 'The damn things come in pairs, you know.'

She crossed to Magrat and snatched the second slipper out of her hand.

"The clock was interesting,' she said, turning back to Granny. 'I was impressed with the clock. But it's no good, you know. You can't stop this sort of thing. It has the momentum of inevitability. You can't spoil a good story. I should know.'

She handed the slipper to the Prince, but without taking her eyes off Granny.

'It'll fit her,' she said.

Two of the courtiers held Magrat's leg as the Prince wrestled the slipper past her protesting toes.

'There,' said Lily, still without looking down. 'And do stop trying that hedge-witch hypnotism on me, Esme.'

'It fits,' said the Prince, but in a doubtful tone of voice.

'Yes, anything would fit,' said a cheerful voice from somewhere towards the back of the crowd, 'if you were allowed to put two pairs of hairy socks on first.'

Lily looked down. Then she looked at Magrat's mask. She reached out and pulled it off.

'Ow!'

'Wrong girl,' said Lily. 'But it still doesn't matter, Esme, because it is the right slipper. So all we have to do is find the girl whose foot it fits - '

There was a commotion at the back of the crowd. Courtiers parted, revealing Nanny Ogg, oil-covered and hung with spider webs.

'If it's a five-and-a-half narrow fit, I'm your man,' she said. 'Just let me get these boots off. . .'

'I wasn't referring to you, old woman,' said Lily coldly.

'Oh, yes you was,' said Nanny. 'We know how this bit goes, see. The Prince goes all round the city with the slipper, trying to find the girl whose foot fits. That's what you was plannin'. So I can save you a bit of trouble, how about it?'

There was a flicker of uncertainty in Lily's expression.

'A girl,' she said, 'of marriageable age.'

'No problem there,' said Nanny cheerfully.

The dwarf Casanunda nudged a courtier proudly in the knees.

'She's a very close personal friend of mine,' he said proudly.

Lily looked at her sister.

'You're doing this. Don't think I don't know,' she said.

'I ain't doing a thing,' said Granny. 'It's real life happening all by itself.'