Witches Abroad (Discworld 12)

'You better sit down. The feets make it shaky until we get into deep water.'

Ella risked a look, nevertheless.

Airs Gogol's hut travelled on four large duck feet, which were now rising out of the swamp. They splashed their way through the shallows and, gently, sculled out into the river.

Greebo woke up and stretched.

And the wrong sort of arms and legs!

Mrs Pleasant, who had been sitting watching him, put down her glass.

'What do you want to do now, Mr Cat?' she said.

Greebo padded over to the door into the outside world and scratched at it.

'Waant to go owwwt, Miss-uss Pleas-unt,' he said.

'You just have to turn the handle there,' she said.

Greebo stared at the door handle like someone trying to come to terms with a piece of very advanced technology, and then gave her a pleading look.

She opened the door for him, stood aside as he slunk out, and then shut it, locked it and leaned against it.

'Ember's bound to be safe with Mrs Gogol,' said Magrat.

'Hah!' said Granny.

'I quite liked her,' said Nanny Ogg.

'I don't trust anyone who drinks rum and smokes a pipe,' said Granny.

'Nanny Ogg smokes a pipe and drinks anything,' Magrat pointed out.

'Yes, but that's because she's a disgustin' old baggage,' said Granny, without looking up.

Nanny Ogg took her pipe out of her mouth.

'That's right,' she said amiably. 'You ain't nothing if you don't maintain an image.'

Granny looked up from the lock.

'Can't shift it,' she said. 'It's octiron, too. Can't magic it open.'

'It's daft, locking us up,' said Nanny. 'I'd have had us killed.'

'That's because you're basically good,' said Magrat. 'The good are innocent and create justice. The bad are guilty, which is why they invent mercy.'

'No, I know why she's done this,' said Granny, darkly. 'It's so's we'll know we've lost.'

'But she said we'd escape,' said Magrat. 'I don't understand. She must know the good ones always win in the end!'

'Only in stories,' said Granny, examining the door hinges. 'And she thinks she's in charge of the stories. She bends them round herself. She thinks she's the good one.'

'Mind you,' said Magrat, 'I don't like swamps. If it wasn't for the frog and everything, I'd see Lily's point - '

'Then you're nothing but a daft godmother,' snapped Granny, still fiddling with the lock. 'You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage. Besides, you don't build a better world by choppin' heads off and giving decent girls away to frogs.'

'But progress - ' Magrat began.