Men at Arms (Discworld 15)

'What's he holding in his hand?' said Angua.

'I don't know. This is bad, I've never seen him like this before. Come on. You take the stuff. I'll take the captain.'

'He hasn't paid for his drink,' said Mr Cheese.

Angua and Carrot looked at him.

'On the house?' said Mr Cheese.

There was a wall of trolls around Cuddy. It was as good a choice of word as any. Right now their attitude was more of surprise than menace, such as dogs might show if a cat had just sauntered into the kennels. But when they'd finally got used to the idea that he really existed, it was probably only a matter of time before this state of affairs no longer obtained.

Finally, one of them said, 'What dis, then?'

'He a man of the Watch, same as me,' said Detritus.

'Him a dwarf.'

'He a Watchman.'

'Him got bloody cheek, I know that.' A stubby troll finger prodded Cuddy in the back. The trolls crowded in.

'I count to ten,' said Detritus. 'Then any troll not going about that troll's business, he a sorry troll.'

'You Detritus,' said a particularly wide troll. 'Everyone know you stupid troll, you join Watch because stupid troll, you can't count to—'

Wham.

'One,' said Detritus. 'Two . . . Tree. Four-er . . . Five. Six . . .'

The recumbent troll looked up in amazement.

'That Detritus, him counting.'

There was a whirring noise and an axe bounced off the wall near Detritus' head.

There were dwarfs coming up the street, with a purposeful and deadly air. The trolls scattered.

Cuddy ran forward.

'What are you lot doing?' he said. 'Are you mad, or something?'

A dwarf pointed a trembling finger at Detritus.

'What's that?'

'He's a Watchman.'

'Looks like a troll to me. Get it!'

Cuddy took a step backwards and produced his axe.

'I know you, Stronginthearm,' he said. 'What's this all about?'

'You know, Watchman,' said Stronginthearm. 'The Watch say a troll killed Bjorn Hammerhock. They've found the troll!'

'No, that's not—'

There was a sound behind Cuddy. The trolls were back, armed for dwarf. Detritus turned around and waved a finger at them.