Men at Arms (Discworld 15)

'Don't run off!' he shouted, 'I haven't found anything wrong—'

'I wasn't r—'

'—YET!'

Carrot had time to get an impression of a cavernous place full of complicated shadows. Apart from the man, who was fatter than Colon, there were a couple of trolls who appeared to be operating a grindstone. Current events did not seem to have penetrated the thick walls.

All right, no-one panic, just stop what you're doing, stop what you're doing, please. I'm Corporal Nobbs, Ankh-Morpork City Ordnance Inspection City Audit—' The piece of paper was waved in front of the man's eyes at vision-blurring speed, and Nobby's voice faltered a bit as he contemplated the end of the sentence, '—Bureau . . . Special . . . Audit . . . Inspection. How many people work here?'

'Just me—'

Nobby pointed at the trolls.

'What about them?'

The man spat on the floor.

'Oh, I thought you said people.'

Carrot stuck out his hand automatically and it slammed against Detritus' breastplate.

'OK,' said Nobby, 'let's see what we've got here . . .' He walked fast along the racks, so that everyone else had to run to keep up. 'What's this?'

'Er—'

'Don't know, eh?'

'Sure . . . it's . . . it's . . .'

'A triple-stringed 2,000lb carriage-mounted siege crossbow with the double-action windlass?'

'Right.'

'Isn't this a Klatchian reinforced crossbow with the goat-leg cocking mechanism and the underhaft bayonet?'

'Er . . . yeah?'

Nobby gave it a cursory examination, and then tossed it aside.

The rest of the Night Watch looked on in astonishment. Nobby had never been known to wield any weapon beyond a knife.

'Have you got one of those Hershebian twelve-shot bows with the gravity feed?' he snapped.

'Eh? What you see is what we got, mister.'

Nobby pulled a hunting crossbow from its rack. His skinny arms twanged as he hauled on the cocking lever.

'Sold the bolts for this thing?'

'They're right there!'

Nobby selected one from the shelf and dropped it into its slot. Then he sighted along the shaft. He turned.

'I like this inventory,' said Nobby. 'We'll take it all.'

The man looked down the sights at Nobby's eye and, to Angua's horrified admiration, didn't faint.

'That little bow don't scare me,' he said.