Men at Arms (Discworld 15)

'Dwarfs don't,' he said.

'What do you mean, dwarfs don't?'

'No-one's told us what everyone knows about dwarfs,' said Cuddy.

'Well . . . I expect they thought you knew,' said Nobby, weakly.

'Not me.'

'Oh, all right,' said Nobby. He glanced at the trolls, then leaned across to Cuddy and whispered in the approximate region of his ear.

Cuddy nodded.

'Oh, is that all?'

'Yes. Er . . . is it true?'

'What? Oh, yes. Of course. It's nat'ral for a dwarf. Some have got more than others, of course.'

'That's the case all round,' said Nobby.

'I myself, for example, have saved more than seventy-eight dollars.'

'No! I mean, no. I mean, I don't mean well-endowed with money. I mean . . .' Nobby whispered again. Cuddy's expression didn't change.

Nobby waggled his eyebrows. 'True, is it?'

'How should I know? I don't know how much money humans generally have.'

Nobby subsided.

'There's one thing that's true at least,' he said. 'You dwarfs really love gold, don't you?'

'Of course we don't. Don't be silly.'

'Well—'

'We just say that to get it into bed.'

It was in a clown's bedroom. Colon had occasionally wondered what clowns did in private, and it was all here – the overlarge shoe tree, the very wide trouser press, the mirror with all the candles round it, some industrial-sized sticks of make-up . . . and a bed which looked like nothing more complicated than a blanket on the floor, because that's what it was. Clowns and fools weren't encouraged to live the soft life. Humour was a serious business.

There was also a hole in the wall, just big enough to admit a man. A little pile of crumbling bricks was heaped next to it.

There was darkness on the other side.

On the other side, people killed other people for money.

Carrot stuck his head and shoulders through the hole, but Colon tried to pull him back.

'Hang on, lad, you don't know what horrors lie beyond these walls—'

'I'm just having a look to find out.'

'It could be a torture chamber or a dungeon or a hideous pit or anything!'

'It's just a student's bedroom, sergeant.'

'You see?'