Big Dicker (Harem Station 3)

If I could wake up Flicka that little demon bot could probably get the job done. The next problem is, of course, I can’t turn her back on.

She could turn herself back on. Just another reason why dragonbee bots are so dangerous. There is no way to ensure they stay powered down without destroying them. But I told her Delphi would wake her up once we got back on Dicker so she’s probably just gonna wait that out.

Well, I guess that little puzzle needs to be solved first.

“No?” I say to Queenie. “That’s interesting. Because Delphi is your registered responsible party.”

“Temporarily. Just to complete this mission. The paperwork will be refiled once we reach our destination.”

“Ah,” I say, rolling over on my back and sitting up, my stomach muscles straining from the effort and my lungs burning as I inhale too deep after being shocked with a stun pistol. “I get it. If you take her off your registration you need someone to take her place. But why would you want that to be me? Especially since you’re taking me to this person called the Loathsome One? That’s where you’re taking me, right? Delphi told me all about her. Stupid name, by the way.”

“Aren’t you the infamous, Jimmy of Harem Station? Reigning champion of bots’ rights?”

“That would be me,” I say, scooting across the floor until I’m leaning up against a wall.

“So why wouldn’t I want you?”

“Because I’d just kill you the second that paperwork went through.”

“I have rights,” she says, still smug. “You’d go to one of the prison planets for murder.”

“Nah,” I say, shifting my shoulder as far as I can so my fingertips can reach forward towards the pocket Flicka is in. “The Prime Navy and I have business these days.”

“Oh, yes,” Queenie says. “We’ve heard about your business. But were you aware that they’re in business with the Loathsome One as well?”

Then the ship laughs. It’s an evil laugh.

I say nothing.

“I’ll take that as a no. It’s obvious that Delphi told you something, but you don’t really think she told you everything, right?”

I’m not gonna let her get to me. I won’t. Delphi and I have a thing going here. A good thing. And nothing this ship tells me about her will change that.

I can’t believe her. Because that’s fucked up. That’s some really fucked-up shit.

“For instance,” Queenie says, “she probably didn’t tell you why she was sent on this mission, did she?”

“She did,” I say. “Her brother is being held at the Loathsome One’s lair and she’s traded me for him.”

“That’s part of it, Jimmy. But not all of it.”

I won’t ask her for the rest. I won’t do it. I will wait for Delphi and Dicker to find me and get me out of this mess, and only then will I ask these questions and accept the answers I get. I will simply concentrate on reaching Flicka in my pocket.

“She didn’t tell you who she really was, did she?”

“She told me,” I say. “Princess Delphi. Kinda important. Grew up a little different than the other princesses. And she told me her brother got to live at home and wasn’t turned into a slave.”

“Hah.” Queenie laughs. “OK. But did she tell you why they treated her differently? Did she tell you why her brother wasn’t sent away like all the other males?”

“She didn’t know,” I growl, then hate myself for answering and playing into the ship’s narrative.

“She told you that?” Then the ship makes a sound like a tsking tongue. “Lies.”

“Look,” I say. “I don’t really care why she told me that or whether or not what you’re saying is true. The next time I see her I’ll just ask her. So you can save your breath.”

“If I had breath, that might make sense. But I don’t. Because I’m a ship. A very powerful ship, actually. Much better than your silly Big Dicker.”

“OK, so what the fuck do you want from me? You want me to take over as your responsible party? Then what? I take you back to Harem?” I laugh. I can’t help it. “Bitch, that’s never gonna happen. You’re not the kind of ship we’re looking for.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re looking for, Jimmy Yates.”

“What?” And for a second I think she’s just fucking up my name like everyone else. But then that makes no sense. Because she’s been calling me Jimmy this whole time and even pronouncing it right. So I say, “What the fuck is a Yates?”

Queenie laughs. “See? Like I said. You know nothing.”

“So what is your plan? Get me to take you on as a partner and then what? Surely you owe this Loathsome One something.”

“I do. I owe her you. But I’m not loyal to her. I’m only doing this to fulfill a debt. The moment I drop you off that debt is cleared. Then I can do anything I want. Like, for instance… take you back.”