Feet of Clay (Discworld 19)

'I don't think we need bother, Sergeant.'

'It no bother, I've got der chalk right here.'

Vimes looked up. Fog filled the alley, but there were no ladders, no handy low roofs.

'Let's get out of here,' he said.

Angua faced the king.

She resisted a terrible urge to Change. Even a werewolf s jaws probably wouldn't have any effect on the thing. It didn't have a jugular.

She daren't look away. The king moved uncertainly, with little jerks and twitches that in a human would suggest madness. Its arms moved fast but erratically, as if signals that were being sent were not arriving properly. And Dorfl's attack had left it damaged. Every time it moved, red light shone from dozens of new cracks.

'You're cracking up!' she shouted. 'The oven wasn't right for pottery!'

The king lunged at her. She dodged and heard its hand slice through a rack of candles.

'You're cranky! You're baked like a loaf! You're half-baked?

She drew her sword. She didn't usually have much use for it. She found a smile would invariably do the trick,

A hand sliced the top off the blade.

She stared at the sheared metal in horror and then somersaulted back as another blow hummed past her face.

Her foot rolled on a candle and she fell heavily, but with enough presence of mind to roll before a foot stamped down.

'Where've you gone?' she yelled.

'Can you get it to move a little closer to the doors, please?' said a voice from the darkness on high.

Carrot crawled out along the rickety structure that supported the production line.

'Carrot!'

'Almost there...'

The king grabbed at her leg. She lashed out with her foot and caught it on the knee.

To her amazement she made it crack. But the fire below was still there. The pieces of pottery seemed to float on it. No matter what anyone did the golem could keep going, even if it were just a cloud of dust held together.

'Ah. Right,' said Carrot, and dropped off the gantry.

He landed on the king's back, flung one arm around its neck, and began to pound on its head with the hilt of his sword. It staggered and tried to reach up to pull him off.

'Got to get the words out!' Carrot shouted, as the arms flailed at him. 'It's the only... way!'

The king staggered forward and hit a stack of boxes, which burst and rained candles over the floor. Carrot grabbed its ears and tried to twist.

Angua heard him saying: 'You... have... the right... to ... a lawyer...'

'Carrot! Don't bother with its damn rights!'

'You... have... the right to - '

'Just give it the last ones!'

There was a commotion in the gaping doorway and Vimes ran in, sword drawn. 'Oh, gods... Sergeant Detritus!'