The Fifth Elephant (Discworld 24)

"Well, he had twelve hundred dollars on him. I donated the rest to the Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons. I got a receipt, by the way. You chaps are keen on receipts, I think."

"You stole his money? Mhm, mhm."

Vimes took a deep breath. His voice, when it emerged, was flat calm. "I wasn"t going to waste any of my own. And he had just tried to kill me. Think of it as an investment, for the good of his health. Of course, if in due course he cares to come and see me, I shall make sure he gets what"s coming to him."

"I"m... astounded, your grace. Mhm, mhm. Bassingly-Gore was an extremely competent swordsman."

"Really? I generally never wait to find out about that sort of thing."

Inigo smiled his thin little smile. "And two months ago Sir Richard Liddleley was found tied to a fountain in Sator Square, painted pink and with a flag stuck - "

"I was feeling generous," said Vimes. "I"m sorry, I don"t play your games."

"Assassination is not a game, your grace."

"It is the way you people play it."

"There have to be rules. Otherwise there would just be anarchy. Mhm, mhm. You have your code and we have ours."

"And you"ve been sent here to protect me?"

"I have other skills, but... yes."

"What makes you think I"ll need you?"

"Well, your grace, here they don"t have rules. Mhm, mhm."

"I"ve spent most of my life dealing with people who don"t have rules!"

"Yes, of course. But when you kill them, they

don"t get up again."

"I"ve never killed anyone!" said Vimes.

"You shot that bandit in the throat."

"I was aiming for the shoulder."

"Yes, the thing does pull to the left," said Inigo. "You mean that you have never tried to kill anyone. I have, on the other hand. And here hesitation may not be an option. Mmph."

"I didn"t hesitate!"

Inigo sighed. "In the Guild, your grace, we don"t... grandstand."

"Grandstand?"

"That business with the cigar..."

"You mean, when I shut my eyes and they had to look at a flame in the darkness?"

"Ah..." Inigo hesitated. "But they might have shot you there and then."

"No. I wasn"t a threat. And you heard his voice. I hear that sort of voice a lot. He"s not going to shoot people too soon and spoil the fun. I can assume that you have not got a contract on me?"

"That is correct."

"And you"d still swear to that?"