The Fifth Elephant (Discworld 24)

Rubber Sonky, floating in his vat...

You dipped in a wooden hand, and out of the vat you got a glove. Hand in glove...

It isn"t where you put it, it"s where people think it is. That"s what matters. That"s the magic.

He remembered the very first thought he"d had when he"d seen Cheery staring at the floor of the Scone"s cave, and the little policemen in Vimes"s head started to clamour.

"What, sir?" said Carrot.

"Hmm?" Vimes forced open his eyes.

"You just shouted, sir."

"What did I shout?"

"You shouted, "The bloody thing was never bloody stolen!" sir."

"The bastards! I knew I nearly had it! It all fits together if you don"t think like a dwarf! Let"s make sure Sybil is all right and then, captain, we"re going to - "

"Prod buttock, sir?"

"Right!"

"Only one thing, sir..."

"What?"

"You are an escaped criminal, aren"t you?"

For a moment there was only the sound of the runners skimming over the snow.

"We-ell," said Vimes, "this isn"t Ankh-Morpork, I know. Everyone keeps telling me. But, captain, wherever you are, wherever you go, watchmen are always watchmen."

A solitary light burned in the window. Captain Colon sat by the candle, staring at nothing.

Regulations called for the Watch House to be manned at all hours, and that"s what he was doing.

The floorboards in the room below creaked into a new position. For many months now they"d been walked on around the clock, because the main office never had fewer than half a dozen people in it. Chairs, too, accustomed "to being warmed continuously by a relay of bottoms, groaned gently as they cooled.

There was only one thought buzzing around Fred Colon"s head.

Mister Vimes is going to go completely bursar. He"s going to go totally Librarian-poo.

His hand went down to the desk and came back automatically, while he looked straight ahead.

There was the crunch of a sugar lump being eaten. .

Snow was falling again. The watchman that Vimes had named Colonesque was leaning in his box by the Hubward gate of Bonk. He"d perfected the art, and it was an art form, of going to sleep upright with his eyes open. It was one of the things you learned on endless nights.

A female voice by his ear said, "Now, there are two ways this could go."

His position didn"t change. He continued to stare straight ahead.

"You haven"t seen anything. That"s the truth, isn"t it? Just nod."

He nodded, once.

"Good man. You didn"t hear me arrive, did you? Just nod."