The Fifth Elephant (Discworld 24)

"Carrot! I"ve got to know something."

"Yes?"

"That might happen to me. Have you ever thought about that? He was my brother, after all. Being two things at the same time, and never quite being one... we"re not the most stable of creatures."

"Gold and muck come "out of the same shaft," said Carrot.

"That"s just a dwarf saying!"

"It"s true, though. You"re not him."

"Well, if it happened... if it did... would you do what Vimes did? Carrot? Would it be you who picked up a weapon and came after me? I know you won"t lie. I"ve got to know. Would it be you?"

A little snow slid down from the trees. The wolves watched. Carrot looked up for a moment at the grey sky and then nodded.

"Yes."

She sighed. "Promise?" she said.

Vimes was surprised at how quickly the coronation became a working day. There was a flourish of echoing horns, a general flow of the crowd and, gradually, a queue in front of the King.

"They haven"t even given him time to get comfy!" said Lady Sybil as they headed towards the exit.

"Our kings are... working kings," said Cheery, and Vimes detected the pride in her voice. "But now is the time when the King awards favours."

A dwarf caught up with Vimes and tugged his cloak respectfully.

"The King wishes to see you now, your excellency," he said.

"There"s an almighty queue!"

"Nevertheless," the dwarf gave a polite cough, "the King wishes to see you now. All of you."

They were led to the front of the queue. Vimes felt many eyes boring into the small of his back.

The King dismissed the previous supplicant with a regal nod as the Ankh-Morpork party was deftly inserted at the top of the line, supplanting a dwarf whose beard went down to his knees.

The King looked at them for a moment, and then the internal filing system threw up a card.

"Ah, it"s yourselves, good as new," he said. "Now, what was it I was going to do? Oh, I remember... Lady Sybil?"

She curtsied.

"Classically, we give rings at this time," said the King. "Between ourselves, many dwarfs consider this a bit... well, bath salts, see. But I believe they are still welcome and so this, Lady Sybil, is, perhaps, a token of things to come."

It was a thin silver ring. Vimes was taken aback at this parsimony, but Sybil could accept a bunch of dead rats graciously.

"Oh, how wond - "

"We normally give gold," the King went on. "Very popular, and of course you can sing about it. But this has... rarity value, see. It is the first silver that has been mined in Uberwald in hundreds of years."

"I thought there was a rule that - " Vimes began.

"I ordered the mines re-opened last night," said the King pleasantly. "It seemed an auspicious time. We shall soon have ore for sale, your excellency, but if Lady Sybil doesn"t get involved in the negotiations and bankrupt us, I for one shall be very grateful," the King added. "Miss Littlebottom, I see, has not graced us with a sartorial extravaganza today?"

Cheery stared.

"You"re not wearing a dress," said the King.