The Fifth Elephant (Discworld 24)

It was better than vision. The world of smell stretched before Gaspode.

"My paws hurt," he said.

"There"s a good dog," said Carrot.

The road forked. Gaspode stopped and snuffled around. "Well, here"s an int"resting frog," he said. "Some of the dung"s jumped down off"f the cart and headed away across the fields here. You were right."

"Can you smell water anywhere around?" said Carrot, scanning the flat plain.

Gaspode"s mottled nose wrinkled up in effort. "Pond," he said. "Not very big. "bout a mile away."

"She"ll be heading towards it. Very meticulous about cleanliness, Angua. That"s not usual in werewolves."

"Never been one for water myself," said Gaspode.

"Is that a fact?"

"Here, no need for that! I had a B-A-T-H once, you know, it"s not as if I don"t know what it"s like."

The pond was in a clump of wind-blown trees. Dry grass rustled in the breeze. A single coot scuttled into the reeds as Carrot and Gaspode approached.

"Yeah, here we are," said Gaspode. "A lot of muck goes in, and - " he sniffed at the stirred-up mud -  "er, yeah, she comes out. Um."

"Is there a problem?" said Carrot.

"What? Oh, no. Clear scent. Headin" for the mountains, just like you said. Um." Gaspode sat down and scratched himself with a hind leg.

"There"s a problem, isn"t there... ?" said Carrot.

"Well, supposin" there was something really bad that you wouldn"t really want to know, and I knew what it was... How"d you feel about me tellin" you? I mean, some peopled rather not know. It"s a pers"nal thing."

"Gaspode!"

"She"s not alone. There"s another wolf."

"Ah." Carrot"s mild, uninformative smile did not change.

"Er, of the male persuasion," said Gaspode. "A boy wolf. Er. Very much so."

"Thank you, Gaspode."

"Extremely male. Um. In a very def"nite way. Unmistakably."

"Yes, I think I understand."

"And this is just words. In smell, it"s a lot more, well, emphatic."

"Thank you for that, Gaspode. And they"re heading..."

"Still straight for the mountains, boss," said Gaspode, as kindly as he could. He wasn"t certain of all the details of human sexual relationships, and the ones he was certain of he still couldn"t quite believe, but he knew that they were a lot more complicated than those enjoyed by the doggy fraternity.

"This smell..."

"The extremely male one I was talkin" about?"

"The very one, yes," said Carrot levelly. "You could still smell it if you were on the horse, could you?"

"I could smell it with my nose in a sack of onions."