The Truth (Discworld 25)

'On commission,' snapped Sacharissa.

'What? You want to employ him?' said William.

'Why not? You can tell as many lies as you like if it's advertising. That's allowed,' said Sacharissa. 'Please? We need the money!'

'Commission, eh?' said Dibbler, rubbing his unshaven chin. 'Like... fifty per cent for you two and fifty per cent for me, too?'

'We'll discuss it, shall we?' said Goodmountain, patting him on the shoulder. Dibbler winced. When it came to hard bargaining, dwarfs were diamond-tipped.

'Have I got a choice?' he mumbled.

Goodmountain leaned forward. His beard was bristling. He

* Classically, very few people have considered that cleanliness is next to godliness, apart from in a very sternly abridged dictionary. A rank loincloth and hair in an advanced state of matted entanglement have generally been the badges of office of prophets whose injunction to disdain earthly things starts with soap. It wasn't currently holding a weapon but Dibbler could see, as it were, the great big axe that wasn't there.

'Absolutely,' he said.

'Oh,' said Dibbler. 'So... what would I be selling, exactly?'

'Space,' said Sacharissa.

Dibbler beamed again. 'Just space? Nothing? Oh, I can do that. I can sell nothing like anything]' He shook his head sadly. 'It's only when I try to sell something that everything goes wrong.'

'How did you come to be here, Mr Dibbler?' William asked.

He was not happy with the answer.

'That sort of thing could work both ways,' he said. 'You can't just dig into other people's property!' He glared at the dwarfs. 'Mr Boddony, I want that hole blocked up right now, understand?'

'We only--'

'Yes, yes, you did it for the best. And now I want it bricked up, properly. I want the hole to look as though it has never been there, thank you. I don't want anyone coming up the cellar ladder that didn't climb down it. Right now, please!

'I think I'm on to a real story,' said William, as the disgruntled dwarfs filed away. 'I think I'm going to see Wuffles. I've got--'

As he pulled out his notebook something dropped on to the floor with a tinkle.

'Oh, yes... and I got the key to our town house,' he said. 'You wanted a dress

'It's a bit late,' said Sacharissa. 'I'd forgotten all about it, to tell the truth.'

'Why not go and have a look while everyone else is busy? You could take Rocky, too. You know... to be on the safe side. But the place is empty. My father stays at his club if he has to come to town. Go on. There's got to be more to life than correcting copy.'

Sacharissa looked uncertainly at the key in her hand.

'My sister has quite a lot of dresses,' said William. 'You want to go to the ball, don't you?'

'I suppose Mrs Hotbed could alter it for me if I take it to her in the morning,' said Sacharissa, expressing mildly peeved reluctance while her body language begged to be persuaded.

'That's right,' said William. 'And I'm sure you can find someone to do your hair properly.'

Sacharissa's eyes narrowed. 'It's true, you know, you have got an amazing way with words,' she said. 'What are you going to do?'

'I'm going,' said William, 'to see a dog about a man.'

Sergeant Angua peered up at Vimes through the steam from the bowl in front of her.

'Sorry about this, sir,' she said.