The Truth (Discworld 25)

He opened it. A small green imp peered out of its slot.

"me?' it said.

'What? A personal Dis-organizer?' said William. 'A killer with a personal Dis-organizer?'

The Things To Do Today section is going to be interesting, then,' said Boddony.

The imp blinked at him. 'Do you want me to reply or not?' it said. 'Insert Name Here requested silence, despite my range of sounds to suit any mood or occasion.'

'Um... your previous owner is... previous,' said William, looking down at the cooling Mr Pin.

'You're a new owner?' said the imp.

'Well... possibly,'

'Congratulations!' said the imp. 'Warranty not applicable if said device is sold, hired, transferred, gifted or stolen unless in original packaging and extraneous materials which by then you will have thrown away and Part Two of the warranty card which you have lost has been filled in and sent to Thttv ggj, thhtfjhsssjk the Scors and quoting

the reference number which you did not in fact make a note of. DO yOU W3nt Hie tO WipC the

contents of my memory?' It produced a cotton-wool bud and prepared to insert it into one very large ear. 'Erase Memory Y,'N?'

'Your... memory... ?'

'Yes. Erase Memory Y,'N?'

'N!' said William. 'And now tell me what exactly it is you are remembering,' he added.

'You have to press the Recall button,' said the imp impatiently.

'And that will do what?'

'A small hammer hits me on the head and I look to see what button you pressed.'

'Why don't you just, well, recall?'

'Look, I don't make the rules. You've got to press the button. It's in the manual--'

William carefully pushed the box to one side. There were several velvet bags in the dead man's pocket. He put these on the desk, too.

Some of the dwarfs had gone a little way down the iron ladder into the cellar. Boddony climbed back out again, looking thoughtful.

There's a man down there,' he said. 'Lying in... lead.'

'Dead?' said William, looking carefully at the bags.

'I hope so. I really hope so. You could say he made a bit of an impression. He's a bit on the... cooked side. And there's an arrow through his head.'

'William, you realize that you are robbing a corpse?' said Sacharissa.

'Good,' said William distantly. 'Best time.' He upended a bag and jewels spilled across the charred wood.

There was a strangled noise from Goodmountain. Next to gold, jewels were a dwarf's best friend.

William emptied the other bags.

'How much do you think this lot is worth?' he said, when the gems stopped rolling and twinkling.

Goodmountain had already whipped an eye glass from an inside pocket and was inspecting a few of the larger stones. 'What? Hey? Oh, tens of thousands. Could be a hundred thousand. Could be a lot more. This one here is worth fifteen hundred, I reckon, and it's not the best of 'em,'