The Wee Free Men (Discworld 30)

She could see now that the far side of the bower contained a couch of leaves, surrounded by hanging flowers. But there was no one there.

“That’s because I’m behind you,” said the voice of the Queen in her ear.

Tiffany turned around quickly.

There was no one there.

“Still behind you,” said the Queen. “This is my world, child. You’ll never be as fast as me, or as clever as me. Why are you trying to take my boy away?”

“He isn’t yours! He’s ours!” said Tiffany.

“You never loved him. You have a heart like a little snowball. I can see it.”

Tiffany’s forehead wrinkled. “Love?” she said. “What’s that got to do with it? He’s my brother! My brother!”

“Yes, that’s a very witchy thing, isn’t it,” said the voice of the Queen. “Selfishness? Mine, mine, mine? All a witch cares about is what’s hers.”

“You stole him!”

“Stole? You mean you thought you owned him?”

Tiffany’s Second Thoughts said: She’s finding your weaknesses. Don’t listen to her.

“Ah, you have Second Thoughts,” said the Queen. “I expect you think that makes you very witchy, do you?”

“Why won’t you let me see you?” said Tiffany. “Are you frightened?”

“Frightened?” said the voice of the Queen. “Of something like you?”

And the Queen was there, in front of her. She was much taller than Tiffany, but just as slim; her hair was long and black, her face pale, her lips cherry red, her dress black and white and red. And it was all, very slightly, wrong.

Tiffany’s Second Thoughts said: It’s because she’s perfect. Completely perfect. Like a doll. No one real is as perfect as that.

“That’s not you,” said Tiffany, with absolute certainty. “That’s just your dream of you. That’s not you at all.”

The Queen’s smile disappeared for a moment and came back all edgy and brittle.

“Such rudeness, and you hardly know me,” she said, sitting down on the leafy seat. She patted the space beside her.

“Do sit down,” she said. “Standing there like that is so confrontational. I will put your bad manners down to simple disorientation.” She gave Tiffany a beautiful smile.

Look at the way her eyes move, said Tiffany’s Second Thoughts. I don’t think she’s using them to see you with. They’re just beautiful ornaments.

“You have invaded my home, killed some of my creatures, and generally acted in a mean and despicable way,” said the Queen. “This offends me. However, I understand that you have been badly led by disruptive elements—”

“You stole my brother,” said Tiffany, holding Wentworth tightly. “You steal all sorts of things.” But her voice sounded weak and tinny in her ears.

“He was wandering around lost,” said the Queen calmly. “I brought him home and comforted him.”

o;Yes, or a sheep tick,” said Tiffany, thinking aloud.

“What’re they?”

“They’re insects that bite sheep and suck blood and don’t drop off until they’re full,” said Tiffany.

“Yuck. I suppose that’s the kind of thing peasants have to know about,” said Roland. “I’m glad I don’t. I’ve seen through the doorways to one or two worlds. They wouldn’t let me out, though. We got potatoes from one, and fish from another. I think they frighten people into giving them stuff. Oh, and there was the world where the dromes come from. They laughed about that and said if I wanted to go in there, I was welcome. I didn’t! It’s all red, like a sunset. A great huge sun on the horizon, and a red sea that hardly moves, and red rocks, and long shadows. And those horrible creatures sitting on the rocks. They live off crabs and spidery things and little scribbity creatures. It was awful. There was this sort of ring of little claws and shells and bones around every one of them.”

“Who are they?” said Tiffany, who had noted the word peasants.