Monstrous Regiment (Discworld 31)

"That will cut off motht of the light, thur!"

"Indeed it will. My plan depends upon it," said Blouse proudly.

"Sir, they will see the light, they'll know we're here," said Jackrum, as though repeating things to a child.

"I explained, sergeant. I will lie," said Blouse.

"You can't lie when - "

"Thank you for your input, sergeant, that will be all for now," said Blouse. "Are we ready, Igor?"

"Jutht about, thur," said Igorina, tying the blanket across the end of the tube. "Okay, thur. I'll light the flare when you thay."

Blouse unfolded the little book. "Ready, private?" he said.

"Yup," said Jade.

"On the word 'long' you will hold the trigger for the count of two, and then let go. On the word 'short' you will hold it down for the count of one, and likewise let go. Got that?"

"Yup, el-tee. Could hold it down for lots, if you like," said Jade. "One, two, many, lots. I'm good at countin'. High as you like. Jus' say der word."

"Two will suffice," said Blouse. "And you, Private Goom, I want you to take my telescope and look for long and short flashes from that light over there, understand?"

Polly saw Wazzer's face and said quickly: "I'll do that, sir!"

A small white hand was laid on her arm. In the miserly glimmer of the dark lantern, Wazzer's eyes glowed with the light of certainty. "The Duchess guides our footsteps now," she said, and took the telescope from the lieutenant. "What we are doing is her work, sir."

"Is it? Oh. Well... that's good," said Blouse.

"She will bless this instrument of far seeing that I may use it," said Wazzer.

"Indeed?" said Blouse nervously. "Well done. Now... are we ready? Send as follows... long... long... short..."

The shutter in the tube clicked and rattled as the message flashed out across the sky. When the troll lowered the tube, there was half a minute of darkness. And then: "Short... long..." Wazzer began.

Blouse held the code book up to his face, his lips moving as he read by the pinpoints of light escaping from the loins of the box. "W... R... U," he said. "And M...S...G...P...R..."

"That's not a message!" said Jackrum.

"On the contrary, they want to know where we are, because they're having trouble seeing our light," said Blouse. "Send as follows... short..."

"I protest, sir!"

Blouse lowered the book. "Sergeant, I am about to tell our spy that we are seven miles further away than we really are, do you understand? And I am certain they will believe us because I have artificially reduced the light output from our device, do you understand? And I will tell them that their spies have encountered a very large party of recruits and deserters heading for the mountains and are in pursuit, do you understand? I am making us invisible, do you understand? Do you understand, Sergeant Jackrum?"

The squad held their breath.

Jackrum drew himself stiffly to attention. "Fully understood, sir!" he said.

"Very well!"

Jackrum continued at attention as the messages were exchanged, like a naughty pupil forced to stand by the teacher's desk.

Messages flashed across the sky, from hilltop to hilltop. Lights flickered. The clacks tube rattled. Wazzer called out the longs and shorts. Blouse scribbled in the book. "S... P... P... 2," he said aloud. "Hah. That's an order to remain where we are."

"More flashes, sir," said Wazzer.

"T... Y... E... 3..." said Blouse, still making notes. "That's 'be ready to give aid'. N...V...A...S...N... That's..."