Unseen Academicals (Discworld 37)

Glenda hesitated. 'Is that something to do with foxes?' she said.

'It means with great passion,' said the woman. 'Do you have a great passion for Mister Nutt, Miss Sugarbean? And remember, please, I do like people to do me the honour of thinking before they speak.'

'Well, I like him a lot,' said Glenda hotly.

'That is charming,' said the woman. 'It does occur to me that Mister Nutt might have achieved more worth than I had previously thought.'

'So you tell her ladyship what I said,' said Glenda, feeling her neck on fire with blushes. 'Mister Nutt has got friends.'

'Indeed I will,' said the woman, standing up. 'And now if you'll excuse me, I'm sure our coach is about to depart. I must fly.'

'Remember to tell her what I said!' Glenda shouted after her.

She saw the woman turn to smile at her and then she was lost as a party arriving from a new coach hurried in from the cold night air.

Glenda, who had stood up at the same time as the woman, sat down heavily. Who on earth did that woman think she was? Her ladyship's librarian, probably. Nutt had mentioned her several times. Altogether too many ideas above her station for Glenda's liking. She hadn't even had the decency to give Glenda her name.

The faint, distant hunting horns of sheer terror began to sound in the back of her mind. Had the woman asked Glenda her name? No! But she'd certainly known it and how would she know about the 'cook' at Unseen University? And she'd been so quick, she'd worked out the Ploughman's Pie with a snap of her fingers. That little part of her that had first been liberated by the sherry chimed in with, The trouble with you is that you make assumptions. You see something and you think you know what you've seen. She certainly didn't sound like a librarian, did she?

Very slowly, Glenda raised her right hand into a fist and lowered it into her mouth, and bit down very hard in an attempt to somehow retrieve the last fifteen minutes from the records of the universe and replace them with something far less embarrassing, like her knickers falling down.

Even here, late into the night, the forge was the heart of attention. Coaches were arriving and leaving constantly. The inn did not run according to the sun, it ran according to the timetable, and aimless people waiting for their connections gravitated to the forge as a free show and a place of comfort in the chilly night air.

Nutt was shoeing a horse. Trev had seen horses being shod before, but never like this. The animal stood as if transfixed, trembling very slightly. When Nutt wanted it to move, he clicked his tongue. When he wanted its leg raised, another click caused this to happen. Trev felt that he wasn't watching a man shoeing a horse, but a master demonstrating his skills to a world of amateurs. When the shoe was on, the horse walked backwards in front of the crowd, for all the world like a fashion model, turning as Nutt moved a hand or made a clicking noise. It didn't seem to be a particularly happy horse, but, great heavens, it was certainly an obedient one. 'Yes, that all seems fine,' Nutt said.

'How much is that going to cost us?' said the coachman. 'Wonderful job, if I may say so.'

'How much? How much? How much?' said Nutt, turning it over in his mind. 'Have I earned worth, sir?'

'I should say so, mate. I've never seen a horse shod as smooth as that.'

'Then worth will do,' said Nutt. 'And a ride for myself and my three friends back to Ankh-Morpork.'

'An' five dollars,' said Trev, coming away from his lounging spot near the wall with the speed of money.

The coachman sniffed. 'A bit steep,' he said.

'What?' said Trev. 'For a late-night job? To better than Burleigh and Stronginthearm specification? Not a bad deal, I think.'

A murmur from the other watchers backed Trev up. 'I never seen anyone do anything like that,' said Juliet. 'He'd 'ave 'ad that 'orse dancing if you'd asked 'im.'

The coachman winked at Trev. 'All right, lad. What can I say? Old Havacook there is a good lad, but a bit bad tempered, as it goes. Once kicked a coachman through the wall. I never thought I'd see him stand there and lift 'is leg up like a trained lap-dog. Your chum has earned his money and his ride.'

'Please take him away,' said Nutt. 'But hold him with care because when he gets a little way away from me he might get a tiny bit frisky.'

The crowd dispersed. Nutt methodically damped down the forge and started to pack his tools into the box. 'If we're going to go back, we'd better go now. Has anyone seen Miss Glenda?'

'Here,' said Glenda, advancing out of the shadows. 'Trev, you and Jools go and get us some seats on the coach. I need to talk to Mister Nutt.'

'Her ladyship was here,' said Glenda when they'd gone.

'I would not be surprised,' said Nutt calmly, snapping the catches shut on his box. 'Just about everybody passes through here and she travels a great deal.'

'Why were you running away?'

'Because I know what will happen,' said Nutt. 'I am an orc. It's as simple as that.'

'But the people on the bus were on your side,' said Glenda.