Shattered (Extreme Risk 2)

So. Not. Helping.

Well, are you sure your technique is correct?

How would I know?????

I don’t know. Hey, have you tried watching porn? See what they do?

?!?!?!

You know, to check out your technique. Maybe you really are doing it wrong. I mean, it’s not that difficult, but everyone has to learn somewhere.

I am not watching porn to figure out how to give a blow job!

Oh, come on. You can’t tell me you’ve never seen it before. This time, just consider it a tutorial instead of entertainment.

Of course I haven’t watched porn before.

Yeah, right.

Wait … you’re serious?

I’ve spent my life in the hospital! When exactly am I supposed to have had this great education in pornography?

Your room had wi-fi.

Seriously? With the nurses and doctors and MOM AND DAD coming in at all hours? I was supposed to watch porn?

That’s what I did most of the time we were waiting for you to get out of chemo or surgery. Headphones, man. Best. Invention. Ever. I mean, next to internet porn.

Oh. My. God.

LOL

Oh. My. God.

Oh, come on. Lighten up. You’re in a hotel room, alone. When is there going to be a better time to figure this shit out? Doesn’t the hotel have like, pay-per-view movies? Get one of those.

I’m working here! I don’t think that can show up on the expense report!

Oh. Right. Well then, do what every other kid in the world does. Download that shit off the internet.

I can’t.

You totally can.

I can’t.

You totally should.

I. CAN’T!

I’m sending you links. I won’t take no for an answer. Do it. I expect a full report when I text you tomorrow.

Oh. My. God.

Have fun! :)

Are you there?