“In the garage.” Kline didn’t even sound annoyed anymore. Just resigned.
“I’ll see you at dinner?”
“Yep.”
But Georgia and Crazy Cassie would be seeing me a little fucking sooner.
Game on.
“Fantastic. But before you go…”
“Yeah?”
“I just need to ask you one little favor.”
He sighed. “Jesus, save us all.”
“Oh my God. Do you think Kline called Thatch?” Georgia asked with panic in her eyes.
“Stop freaking out,” I said and continued to run my fingers through one last rack of my second favorite vintage boutique. Bella’s had always been my favorite, but fluffing hell, Stan’s barking episode made it impossible for us to go back. And I was pretty sure the store clerk saw me flash that lady on the sidewalk, so, yeah, Bella’s was a no-go for at least another few months.
“He called him,” she rambled. “I know he did. God, how did I let you talk me into this? I’m the world’s worst dog mommy.”
“Seriously, Georgia, calm down,” I encouraged with my eyes fixated on the gorgeous silk blouse in my hands. “And tell me if this shirt would make my boobs look too big?”
“I can’t calm down!” She looked out the window to check on Stan for what felt like the millionth time. “And what kind of ridiculous question is that? Everything makes your boobs look big! Especially now! One of your boobs is the size of my head!”
Lord almighty, she was amped up.
But she was definitely right about the shirt. And, I had a feeling I’d need it to get Thatch to forgive me later. You know, once I’d called it quits on the whole pranking bit and he found out that I’d been the one to remove Stan from the nursery this afternoon.
A rush of anxiety filled my veins at the thought of telling my husband what I’d managed to pull off. Had I taken the prank too far? I mean, Thatch wouldn’t be too mad about it…right?
“What if Thatch called the cops? What if I get arrested for kidnapping my own dog? Oh my God! I’m going to go to jail!” Georgia exclaimed. “For kidnapping my own dog! The only way I’ll be able to have another baby is during conjugal visits in the slammer!
Oh my goat cheese, she’s a horrible accomplice.
Note to self: Stan and I can’t invite Georgia along for the ride for any future pranks.
“Just relax,” I encouraged, even though I knew it probably wouldn’t do a bit of good. Sane Georgia had officially left the building, and only panicked, losing her ever-loving sneakers Georgia was left. “We’ll give it another ten minutes—enough time to finish browsing this rack and buy this shirt—and then I’ll call Thatch.”
“Ugh,” she groaned. “I hate you. I honestly think I hate you right now.”
I smirked. “No, you don’t. Plus, I’m going to buy you this—” I started to say but paused when a rush of discomfort filled my stomach.
Something felt out of place or off or just not right. I didn’t know what, but something was different. I almost felt like I was being watched.
Immediately, I looked out the front window and found Stan resting comfortably on the sidewalk. Thank God. It would’ve been horrible if I’d actually managed to lose Stan while trying to make Thatch think he’d lost Stan.
But after a few paranoid glances around the store, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Well, besides the back and shoulders of a beast of a woman wearing a pink shirt and a giant frilly white hat.
God, she’s big. And honestly, making me kind of horny…
That was weird. I’d never thought of myself as into women, but holy hello, pregnancy had been wreaking havoc on my normal pranking skills. I guessed it was possible it had the power to change my tune to the same sex.
“Hello? Cass? Are you listening to me?” Thankfully, Georgia called my attention before I could wander toward thoughts of bisexual curiosity. Not that I was opposed to being bisexual, I’d just never considered it.
But there was something about that woman…
“Cass!” Georgia whisper yelled.
“What?”
“Make the call.”
“It’s only been like two minutes,” I said with a wave of my hand. “Chill out, and let me buy this shirt.”
But she wasn’t going to let up. “Make. The. Call. Now. I can’t handle it anymore.”
I groaned. “Ugh. Fine.”
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and hit Thatch’s number before holding it against my cheek. The boring rings on my side of the call filled one ear while the “Thong Song” filled the other.
Wait a second.
I know that ringtone…
I started to look around the store again, but before I could process what was happening, I felt a tap to my back. The hairs stood up on the back of my neck as the hot air of someone close buzzed it. “Game. Over.”
Slowly, I turned around to find my husband undercover in a giant white frilly hat paired with his favorite pink I love Cassie’s tits T-shirt, and jeans. Not to mention the two adorable toddlers standing on either side of him and little Evie sitting happily in her stroller.
“Uh-oh,” I muttered.
“Yeah.” Thatch stared down at me. “Uh. Oh.”
“Fu—” I started to curse, but I quickly stopped myself before the word flew past my lips and into our kids’ ears.
“Fuck!” Ace finished for me on a shout, and then Julia started to giggle.
My eyes went wide, and I stared at my husband in disbelief with what had just come out of our son’s mouth. I knew I’d heard him say it on the phone! “Thatch—”
“Don’t even think about it, Crazy.” He held up his index finger. “The F word is the very last thing you should be worried about right now,” he stated in a far too calm voice.
It was his “I’m more than angry” voice.
Looks like Daddy’s mad…
Motherfluffer.
Just act natural. Act like you’re supposed to be here and you’re supposed to have Stan and…fluffing hell. Is there even a way out of this one?
“I kept the secret so good, Mommy! I didn’t tell Daddio anything!” Ace exclaimed.
“Didn’t tell Daddio anything.” Thatch quirked a brow in my direction. “Hmmm, that’s interesting…and it’s not the first time I’ve heard it today either.”
“I didn’t tell either!” Julia chimed in, and I knew what little hope was left, had vanished into thin air.
“What didn’t you tell Daddio, little man?” Thatch asked, and Ace grinned.
“I saw Mommy today,” he answered, and a little part inside of me died that my son had just thrown me to the proverbial wolves.
“Oh, really,” my husband said, far too amused with the way the tables had turned. “And where did you see Mommy today?”
“In the nursery with Lia’s big dog.”
Thatch smirked. And it wasn’t his sexy smirk. It was his “I so have your ass” smirk.
“Wow. That’s crazy, isn’t it?” he questioned and glanced between Georgia and me. “And here I’d been searching the whole house, thinking Stan had gone missing, but he’s been with you ladies the whole time.” He glanced out the window. “And just look at him. Kicked back and hanging out. It’s definitely a lot better than the awful scenarios I’d conjured up in my head—and a whole lot different than his demon lover.”
“Cassie made me do it,” Georgia blurted out. “She made me do it and I didn’t want to and I’m sorry.”
“Georgie!” I glared at her and she shrugged.
“Are you ready to go, honey?” Thatch asked with far too much sweetness in his voice. “Let’s go and have a nice little chat just me and you.”
“You know, since it’s Mother’s Day and all, I think I’m going to shop for a little while longer before we go to Wes and Winnie’s. I mean, we’re already in the city, and—”
He shook his head and nodded toward the door. “Let’s go, Crazy.”
My normal reaction would’ve been to tell him to fluff right off, but I figured I needed to accept the punishment.
Everyone, please say a prayer that this turns into something more interesting than a firm lecture.
Spankings, the Supercock, orgasms, you know, some of my favorite things…
“But…” Cassie hedged as I pushed her toward the door. “Where are we going? What about the animals? And the kids? And Georgia? You don’t want to leave Georgia all by herself, do you?”
“Oh, I’m fine,” Georgia assured. “You can leave Stan, Walter, and the kids with me. Kline just texted me that he’s done with work and nearby. We’ll bring them to dinner.”
Cassie’s eyes turned smoky with the essence of betrayal.
Way to go, Georgie. So far so good.
So you’re probably thinking you’re missing something, huh? Well, as it turns out, all that technology I was lamenting earlier can also be a boon. It’s amazing how detailed a plan you can formulate via text message. I wasn’t fully confident in Georgia’s ability to tow the lying line, but so far, she’s been smashing.
“Perfect,” I agreed easily. “Thanks so much.”