Sex Says

“Jesus,” I muttered. “Hold your horses.”

Reed chuckled softly from his cozy perch on the sofa, and my tits perked up. Literally. Like little dogs on my chest.

As I headed toward the door, I swore to the universe if there was a Reed Luca clone standing in front of my door, I would stop trying to be a good person. I’d acquire every vice out there—gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex.

I couldn’t handle two Reed Lucas.

Yeah, but you would handle sex with Reed Luca’s clone just fine, my mind taunted.

I chose to ignore that.

The wood felt heavier as I dragged it open, the possibilities of a threesome with two Reeds running through my mind and the guilty self-loathing that followed plaguing the lining of my stomach. Thankfully, all thoughts of sex in any context fled as I realized who had actually come calling—because hello, creepy.

There stood my sister and Brian, polished, pressed, and dressed to the nines, while their three kids—with backpacks, rolling suitcases, and sleeping bags in hand—ran straight into my apartment without even uttering a hello.

“Sorry, we’re a little late,” Annie greeted and pushed past me.

Brian followed her lead but stopped to give me a quick kiss on the cheek on his way in. “Hi, Lo.”

Reed stood up, and Annie stopped dead in her tracks.

Her eyes shone in amusement. “Oh, I see you have company.”

I sighed. My sister was far too excited about this.

“Are you going to introduce us, Lo?” she asked with a smile the size of Earth.

Yeah. Annie was too fucking excited. I sighed.

“Reed, this is my sister Annie, her husband Brian, and their three kids, Emma, Lucy, and Henry,” I introduced because I had been left no other option.

Brian and Annie offered the typical, friendly greetings and handshakes, while the kids ran circles around the four of us.

“Is this your boyfriend?” Henry shouted.

“Ohh! I want a boyfriend!” Emma chimed in. “I want a boyfriend just like Aunt Lola!”

“No, not boyfriend. He’s my friend,” I said, refusing to look in Reed’s direction when the word friend left my lips.

“That’s right,” he interjected. By the tone of his voice, I knew he was also getting far too much amusement out of this situation. “I’m your Aunt Lola’s friend. Her best friend,” he added for good measure. I started to feel the familiar urges toward violence prickle my fingertips.

“Friend,” I corrected through gritted teeth and quickly redirected the conversation. “A little late, Annie?” I asked, and she did her normal thing of walking around my apartment being a busybody. I followed her toward the kitchen, past the display of three kids who were now rolling around on the carpet and throwing their sleeping bags in the air. Reed and Brian stayed behind, weighing down both ends of my couch, just in case it tried to fly away.

“What exactly are you late for?”

“I know I told you seven,” she explained and grabbed a glass from the cabinet, “but I had to talk Henry out of bringing one thousand LEGOs to your place.”

“Am I supposed to know what’s happening right now?” I honestly had no idea why they were here, and more than that, why it appeared her children would be staying for an unknown length of time.

Had she finally broken and decided to drop her kids off before she and Brian ran off to Mexico?

“I sent you a text reminder on Tuesday, Lo,” Annie answered and filled the glass up underneath the tap.

“Well…considering you send me ‘text reminders’ about five times a day, it’s easy to understand why that one didn’t stick out to me,” I retorted. “What exactly am I supposed to be doing tonight?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Her voice and eyes turned into something out of The Shining.

Obviously, I wasn’t, but fuck if I wasn’t fearful to admit that now.

“Uh…”

She took a drink from the glass, swallowed, and then closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Please, tell me you can watch the kids tonight.”

“Like just for a few hours, or the whole night?” I questioningly teased. I mean, it was obvious by the backpacks and roller suitcases her kids weren’t here for a short two-hour playdate.

Annoyed turned pleading in a heartbeat. “Please, tell me you can watch the kids.” She clasped both hands together. “Please. Please. Please. I need this. I even bought a new dress just for this occasion. I swear to God, it’s been three years since Brian and I have had a night out together. I’m seriously begging you.”

“Cute dress, by the way,” I complimented and leaned a hip against the counter. “Those Pilates classes are seriously paying off. You look like you could crack a walnut open with your thighs.”

“I know, right?” she agreed with a confident hand to her hip.

“How many times a week do you go?”

“It depends on my schedule, but—” She paused and then pointed an accusing index finger in my direction. “Don’t try to change the subject.”

I feigned annoyance. “I mean, I had a big night planned out, Annie. My dealer should be stopping by any minute. And Reed and I were going to spend the rest of the night snorting coke and playing poker with hookers.”

She grinned. “Just put a movie on. The kids won’t even notice.”

“I guess my final answer really depends on one thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“Did Brian get the president’s approval for this?”

Annie flipped me off, and Brian called from the living room, “Congress gave us the unanimous vote, Lola! The United States government is in full support of our night out.”

“Well, thank God for that,” I teased. “I’m shocked they pushed this one through considering all of the pending approvals you guys are waiting on.”

“Yeah, Daddy, why hasn’t the president told us if we can get a puppy yet?” Emma questioned.

“Thanks a lot, smartass,” Annie muttered.

I laughed and finally dropped the whole “I don’t feel like watching your kids” act. “Fine. They can stay here tonight so you and Brian can get wild and crazy.”

She didn’t waste any time after that, grabbing her purse off the counter and shouting, “Let’s go, Brian!” He hopped up like a man who had finally gotten the approval to get laid after three years of nothing—so, basically, like himself.

I followed her toward the living room and watched as she hugged her kids good-bye, kissing them each on the forehead and saying, “I love you. Be good for Aunt Lola. If I find out you were an asshole, no iPad for a week.”

Her parenting tactics were on fleek.

“Please get them in bed by ten and call me if you need anything.” Her eyes distinctly belied her words—don’t call me unless they’re dead. “We’ll pick them up by nine tomorrow,” she instructed and pulled me into a tight hug.

I sighed when she released me. “I guess I’m going to have to call my dealer and cancel.”

“Don’t forget the hookers,” she added with a smile. “I hear you have to pay the full amount once they show up.”

“I thought it was hourly?”

Annie laughed. “All drug and hooker jokes aside, you’ve got some serious explaining to do tomorrow.”

I quirked an eyebrow.

She nodded toward the room where Reed was busy occupying her three menaces. “You know exactly what and whom I’m talking about.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I expect a full report in the morning. All the details.”

“I also expect a full report from you in the morning,” I countered.

She scoffed. “About what?”

“Like I don’t know you got all dressed up just to do your most favorite thing in the whole world.”

“Having dinner with my husband that is sans children saying ‘Mommy’ every ten seconds?”

“Nope.” I smirked.

“Is this the point in the conversation where you start talking about blow jobs and I leave?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, then. Have fun tonight. Thanks again.”

“You too and don’t forget—”

“Shut up, Lola!” she shouted before I could get another word in. She yanked Brian by the suit jacket into the hallway, and the door clicked shut a few seconds later.

I turned around to find Reed leaning against the wall, staring back at me.

“Yeah… Don’t feel like you need to hang around. I will completely understand if you’re ready to haul ass out of here.”

He shook his head. “I’m not leaving.”

“You’re not?” I couldn’t hide the surprise from my voice. I could hide the flutter of excitement in my belly, though. I’d heard the secret was to bury it with ten pounds of junk food.

“Emma put the Minions movie on, and Henry just pulled out a stack of bingo cards from his backpack. Things are about to get exciting,” Reed pseudoexplained.

“Are you being serious?” I searched his eyes for the but in his statement. Reed was a wild card. He could turn even the simplest statements into a lie.

He grinned. “Actually, yeah, I am.”

Reed was choosing to spend his Saturday night babysitting my sister’s kids with me.