More than Friends

“Considering it’s the easiest one on the entire sheet, that’s scary.”

“Well, smarty pants, we can’t all be perfect.”

I laugh. “I am far from perfect. I messed up so bad I don’t’ even know how to fix it.”

“With Dean?” She scoots closer to me and drops the pen inside her book. “You never told me what’s up with you two. He’s been acting just as weird as you.”

I shrug and fall back against the bed, deflated. “I don’t know. Things are complicated.”

The thought of our last conversation makes me want to puke all over again. My guilt and regret is probably the real reason for my weak stomach. I could never handle stress.

“Did he do something to you? I can kick his ass if you want.”

We both laugh at her stupidity.

“Don’t even think about it,” I warn. “Dean didn’t do anything. It was me. I screwed up.”

“Are you going to tell me, or do I have to pull it out of you?”

Frustrated, I let out a puff of air, blowing my hair in my face. “We hooked up.”

“As in you had sex with Dean?” Her eyes and mouth widen in shock. “Shut up. You guys finally did it.”

I turn my head away from her to stare out the window at the far corner of our room. “It was a mistake.”

“Really? How could sex with Dean be a mistake? By now, the entire school has probably seen him naked, and you would know better than me that he’s—”

I hold up my hand to silence her. “Please don’t finish that thought. And yes, he’s…Well, he’s Dean. Can we leave it at that?”

She tugs on my shoulder, forcing me to look her in the eyes. “Will you at least give me some details? Ugh, sex with Dean Crawford has to be at the top of most of the girls on this campus’ bucket list.”

“I can check it off of mine.” I give her a lopsided grin to lighten the mood, even though I feel like shit on the inside.

“C’mon, Kat. Give me something here.”

“Fine.” I roll my eyes at Becca. “He was amazing.”

“What changed?”

“Don’t get mad, but we’ve been having sex since last year. I asked Dean to take my virginity, and he did. The fact I haven’t told one of my closest friends only proves we could never work.”

“So, why can’t you guys work it out? I don’t understand?”

“I refuse to be his secret girlfriend. I thought I could do it, but I want more than what he can offer me. Dean wants me to be his girl, but my brothers can’t know, so what’s the point? We were able to go back to normal for a long time until I had to ask him if we could be more. The next morning changed everything, at least for me. When reality had sunken in, and I realized we could never make it work, I knew we had to go back to being friends.”

“But you’re not even friends anymore. Are you? You walk away from him most of the times you see him on campus and ignore his calls.”

“I need time, I guess. After what Dean did the next day, I haven’t felt the same.”

“Don’t hold back. What did he do?”

“He made me get inside his closet while he talked to Theo about me like I was a puck bunny. It was awful. While I sat on the floor next to a smelly Brauer bag, it hit me that we’d made a mistake. Dean has been trying to show me we haven’t, but I don’t share the same opinion.”

“But you guys have been friends for years, and he’s practically attached at the hip to the twins.”

“The twins are another reason why it would never work. My brothers have trusted him for all these years to look after me. Of course, Duke has always thought there was something more between Dean and me, but the twins don’t see it that way.”

“So, you’re going to deny your feelings for Dean because of your brothers? For such a smart girl, you are acting like an idiot, Kat. You would have your entire life mapped out for you with Dean.”