Force of Feeling

There were other publishers, and for now she had enough money to take care of both herself and her child comfortably for some time to come. Gradually, she was finding that she was becoming more and more self-absorbed, and more and more wrapped up in her coming child.

In March, she had a check-up. The specialist was pleased with her progress, and cautiously optimistic that the danger had been overcome.

At the end of the month, when the daffodils were budding and a cold, clean wind swept the sky, sending the clouds scudding like a busy broom, Howard came home for a brief stay.

Things were not going well with the American side of his business. He was in partnership with two Americans, and he was considering closing down that side of his operation.

On Saturday, Campion went out for a walk so that they could have some time together. She wasn’t looking forward to her eventual return to London, and she was now seriously considering buying a small house in the locality. Lucy lived in a very pleasant part of the world, as yet unspoiled by any rush of London commuters. Someone a long time ago had planted the park surrounding the house with a vast profusion of bulbs, and Campion paused to admire them as she strolled towards the gates.

Her ultimate destination was the village, almost a mile away, where she had promised Lucy that she would buy bread, and where she also wanted to call on the local estate agent.

The road from the house to the village was relatively quiet, the odd car sped past her, one even slowed down and as she glanced up she had a fleeting impression of a dark haired woman and several children crammed inside the large estate car.

She was tired when she reached the village. It was surprisingly hard work, struggling against the buffeting wind.

She sat down on a wooden seat to get her breath. A group of teenagers on bicycles were chatting outside the newsagent. A woman emerged with three children in tow, and Campion stiffened as she recognised Guy’s sister…Meg Drummond, she remembered.

This was a meeting she could not blame Lucy for.

She ducked her head instinctively, even though, as far as she knew, the other woman had no idea who she was—nor surely would want to speak to her if she did. But when she looked back, after what she judged was a suitable interval, she was horrified to see the woman walking determinedly towards her.

‘I have to talk to you,’ she announced without preamble. ‘I know who you are. Guy pointed you out to me at the children’s party. I can’t…’

She gasped as Campion stood up hurriedly, her coat catching in the breeze and blowing open to reveal the betraying swell of her body.

‘Guy was right!’ She drew away from Campion, as though she were in some way contaminated. ‘I didn’t think he could be.’ She sounded almost dazed. ‘I…he told me not to interfere. He said you were involved with someone else.’ She looked at Campion’s swollen stomach and then away again, and demanded fiercely, ‘Do you realise what you’ve done to him?’

Campion stared at her. ‘What I’ve done to him?’

‘Yes,’ the other woman said bitterly. ‘We used to tease him and tell him that he’d never fall in love, that he was too self-sufficient. Oh, God, how I wish that we’d been right!’

None of what she was hearing made sense. Campion turned to walk away, and gasped as cramp attacked her muscles. She couldn’t move. An intense feeling of panic and fear rushed through her, and the sky seemed to fall down towards her. She blinked unsteadily, and in the distance heard a woman say huskily, ‘Tom! Quick, run and get Daddy.’ And then the whole world turned black, and she was sucked down into warm darkness.

When she came round, she was sitting on the bench. A man held her wrist, measuring her pulse. Meg Drummond sat beside her, watching her with anxious, guilty eyes, and three identical pairs of grey eyes stared curiously at her.

‘See? She isn’t dead, after all. I told you she wasn’t,’ the tallest said scornfully to his siblings.

‘Tom, please! I’m so sorry…I didn’t…’

‘What my wife is trying to tell you,’ the man’s voice interrupted pleasantly, ‘is that she wants to apologise for her impulsive outburst. How do you feel?’

‘Fine, I’m fine,’ Campion lied mechanically. She wanted them all to go away. She wanted to be left alone in peace, without these reminders of Guy pressing in all around her. How like him his nephews were…or was the smallest one a girl? Hard to tell with that short hair and those jeans. She felt muzzy and weak; the thought of the walk back to the house made her quail.

‘Mmm…’ The man’s voice was professionally non-committal. He had to be a doctor.

‘How far advanced is your pregnancy?’

‘Four months.’ She said it without thinking.

‘Four months?’ Guy’s sister stared at her. ‘But—’ she broke off and said hurriedly to her husband. ‘Tait, I think we should give her a lift home. She isn’t in any fit state to walk.’

‘Yes, I agree.’ He released Campion’s wrist and smiled calmly at her. ‘My wife will stay with you while I get the car. Come on, kids.’

Her fascinated audience were obviously reluctant to leave but, as they did so, she heard the eldest one saying with relish, ‘She’ll get loads fatter than that before she has the baby. You should have seen Mum when she was having you…’

She was alone with Guy’s sister. How on earth had this happened? She had come out for a quiet walk, that was all.

‘It’s Guy’s baby, isn’t it?’