Snowbound with the Soldier
He smothered a swear word and shot to his feet, ignoring the ache in his leg. With a pronounced limp, he moved to the fireplace. He had to tell her. He had to explain the terrible secret that drove them apart—the one that would keep them apart forever.
“It wasn’t you. It was me,” he said, turning to meet her glare.
“Sure. Whatever you say.” Her eyes said she didn’t believe him.
“I already told you how I got my buddy killed. Isn’t that enough to convince you that I’m bad news?”
“That was a very unfortunate accident.” She settled her hands on her hips. “It has nothing to do with this...with us.”
He’d have to go into the whole sordid story to make her see that his hasty departure had been in a moment of shock—of self-defense. And it had absolutely nothing to do with anything she’d said or done.
Refusing to give in to the pain in his leg, he paced to the end of the fireplace mantel, then turned, with a precision drilled into him during his time in the military. He’d never divulged his shameful secret to anyone. At least his father had done one decent thing in his life and kept it to himself. Except for the fateful night when he’d flung the gruesome secret in Jason’s face.
His gut churned as the nightmare began to unfold in his mind.
Jason paused. Looked at Kara. Opened his mouth. Then closed it.
With a jerk, he turned away. The pain in his leg was no match for the agony in his chest. He continued pacing. Where did he start? And what did he do when his worst nightmare came true—when Kara looked at him with revulsion? An acidic taste rose in the back of his throat and he swallowed hard.
“Don’t do this again. Don’t shut me out,” she insisted. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t—”
“Yes, you can. Tell me what awful thing drove you from your home—from me. Or is it that there isn’t any secret? Did you just chicken out when things got too serious? Instead of facing me and explaining why you wanted out of the engagement, did you find it easier to bolt?”
Did she really think him such a coward? He considered not telling her, considered holding back out of spite, but that would be childish. After everything, she deserved the truth. No matter how much it cost him.
“It all happened the night I was supposed to meet you at the Christmas dance.” His voice grew uneven and he paused to clear his throat.
He searched for the right words. There were none. His palms grew moist. Puzzlement lit her eyes, as though she was trying to guess what he would say next.
“I was on my way out the door when my father stopped me.”
Jason inhaled an unsteady breath and blew it out. “We started arguing about his expectations for me around the resort. I’d had enough of him criticizing my job performance, nitpicking my every move. I blurted out that I planned to enlist in the army. He was livid. I’d never seen him so angry. He told me I was an ungrateful, sniveling brat and that I owed it to him to run the place.”
Jason glanced up to see the color wash out of Kara’s face. Her eyes were large and round, prompting him to keep going.
“I said I was tired of being a slave to a man who lived his life inside a bottle. I didn’t stop there. I also told him you and I were getting married and leaving this place. He laughed in my face. His alcohol-laced breath made me want to puke.”
Jason forced another breath in, then out. “He said no woman would want to marry me when she found out the truth. I told him there wasn’t anything he could say or do to keep me from marrying you.”
Boy, had he been wrong.
He swallowed hard, fighting back the wave of fear over Kara’s impending repulsion. He wanted more than anything in the world for her to understand, but how do you understand the incomprehensible? How do you reconcile yourself to the fact that the person you thought you’d once known was a stranger?
He just had to say a little more and then it’d be out there. There’d be no more fighting this attraction, because she’d never let him get close to her again. And he wouldn’t blame her.
“My father staggered up to me. He stabbed his finger in my chest and stared at me with those bloodred eyes. He told me I was an ungrateful bastard. His words were slurred, but their point came across loud and clear.”
Kara’s hand flew to her mouth. Her eyes shimmered with pity.
When dreadful seconds of silence fell over the room, she asked, “Why in the world would he say such hateful things to you? No parent wants to see their child leave home, but...”
“But he was drunk, and furious at me for what he saw as betrayal, for leaving him here to deal with a resort that was losing money left and right.”
After seven years, the events of that night stood out crystal clear in Jason’s mind. His father’s words still held the power to stab at his heart, forcing him to blink repeatedly to clear the blur in his eyes.
In his mind, he could still recall his father’s last blow—the one that shattered any hope he’d had of having a life with Kara. He wasn’t his father’s biological son. Under the strained circumstances, that should have given him some comfort—but it didn’t.