Hourglass (Hourglass 1)
“You’ve got to stay strong. We don’t know what happened. What if he managed to survive it? You’re a mess. Would you want him to see you like this?”
“I’m not a mess.”
And he’s not coming back.
Kaleb gazed down at me, cradled in his arms, tears and snot all over my face.
“I’m not a mess!” I jerked my sleeve down over my hand and wiped some of the moisture away. Struggling to sit up, I voiced the question I was most afraid of asking. “Do you feel him? His emotions?”
His answering smile held a world of sadness.
I buried my face in his chest and let go.
It took a while for me to stop weeping. When I finally ran out of tears, Kaleb stood and helped me to my feet. “Get cleaned up and then come downstairs. I’ll have Cat bring you some clothes. You need to let her look at those cuts.” He gestured to my hands and knees. I started to protest, but he interrupted. “Let her do it here, or I can take you to the hospital.”
“I hate hospitals.”
“I know.”
“That’s a dirty trick.”
“I know that, too. Do it.” He reached into his pocket before placing something in my hand and carefully curling my fingers around it.
When he left, I examined what he’d placed in my palm. It was his silver circle engraved with the word hope. I stared at it for a few moments before placing it in the exact center of Michael’s bed.
I stripped off the jacket, hearing a clunk when it hit the ground. I picked it up and unzipped the pockets, finding the computer disks I’d retrieved as well as Michael’s car keys. I squeezed the keys so hard the teeth hurt my fingers. Tears filling my eyes, I dropped them onto his nightstand. I left the computer disks where they were.
I walked blindly into the bathroom and turned the water to the hottest temperature I could stand. Before I stepped in, I stared at my reflection in the mirror.
My hair was gray instead of blonde, speckled with ashes, my face dark with soot and streaked with tearstains. The irises of my bloodshot eyes were bright green; they got that way when I’d been crying. My shoulder was already developing a deep purple bruise, and it hurt when I rolled it forward to stretch it. I looked down at my knees and the heels of my hands, both scabbed over.
As bad as I looked on the outside, the inside was much worse.
I stepped into the shower and stood under the spray until the hot water ran out.
Chapter 49
Wearing only a towel, I cautiously opened the bathroom door to a fresh set of clothing on the bed, a soft pair of gray yoga pants I’d be able to roll up at the waist along with a white hoodie and tank top. There was a pair of thick blue fuzzy socks, even a package of new underwear. Bless Cat’s heart and her wardrobe. I almost laughed at the underwear, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it.
The time in the shower gave me more clarity about what I’d seen at the Hourglass. If what I believed to be true was in fact true, there were questions that needed to be answered.
And … Michael was gone. I had to make a choice. I could either break the same way I had when I lost my parents, or I could do whatever it took to find some kind of justice for him. I knew what would be easiest. I also knew what would be right.
I didn’t know which choice would win.
I dressed and took the silver circle from the center of Michael’s bed and tucked it into the pocket of the hoodie. Descending the stairs slowly, I winced each time my knees bent. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, every forward motion another strain on the tightrope of my emotions. I passed by the common room, refusing to look at the couch or the clock, and stopped outside the kitchen.
Just function, Emerson. You can’t drown in it yet. There are things that have to be done.
After a few deep breaths I opened the door and stuck my head in. It still smelled like popcorn.
“Hi.” Cat was alone at the kitchen table. She stood, reaching out to help me into a chair. “Kaleb said you were going to let me look you over.”
“The only thing that really hurts is my shoulder.”
And my heart. But I doubted she could help me with that.
“Which one is it?” she asked.