Sempre (Sempre 1)

“We don’t get much snow around here,” Carmine said. “It never lasts long, but it’s nice.”

To her, nice didn’t begin to cover it. It was beautiful. She walked to the window and pressed her hand to the frosty glass, her stomach fluttering as her eyes burned with tears. She thought of her mama then, the vision of her dancing in the snow. It was her happy spot, the place she went whenever she dreamed. Haven understood now. She yearned to go there, too.

A throat cleared behind her, and she turned to see that everyone had gathered. Dozens of presents of all shapes and sizes huddled under the fake tree, decorated in shiny paper with big bows. Haven sat on the couch, her nerves flaring as she gazed at them. Carmine hesitated but sat down beside her.

Dr. DeMarco handed out presents, and Haven was stunned when he set two in front of her. Dominic’s name was written on the top one, and she glanced at the second to see unfamiliar handwriting. “Celia,” Carmine said, the same time Haven read the name on the tag.

The gift from Dominic was filled with art supplies, paints and paper and markers, while Celia’s box contained an empty picture frame. Overwhelmed by their generosity, Haven could do nothing but whisper her thanks. She felt almost normal as she watched the others with their gifts, like she was simply a girl enjoying the small things in life. It warmed her heart to feel like a part of them.

Despite that, there was still that other part of her that felt guilty. As she gazed around at the living room littered with wrapping paper and plates of cookies, she felt like she was betraying her mama. There would be no gifts for her. No sweets. No laughs. No family. No snow. No love.

She had been so lost in thought that she hadn’t noticed the room emptied until Carmine squeezed her knee. She jumped, startled, and he looked at her questioningly. “What’s wrong?”

“Just thinking about my mama.”

Carmine put his arm around her, pulling her to him. “I miss mine, too.”

* * *

Tess and Dia showed up a few minutes later, and everyone gathered in the family room once again while Haven lingered by the doorway. Dr. DeMarco and his sister laughed together over some whispered secret, and Tess sat on Dominic’s lap as he squeezed her in a hug. Dia was telling a story, making Carmine chuckle. The love in the room was so pure and powerful that Haven’s eyes misted from the intensity of it.

Carmine spotted her and patted the cushion beside him. “Why are you standing there?”

“Habit, I guess,” she said. “I’m used to being on the outside looking in.”

“Well, we’re gonna break that habit. You belong on the inside with me.”

She gazed at him, smiling, before looking over his shoulder. A pair of dark eyes met hers, the penetrating gaze paralyzing. Dr. DeMarco was watching them, and he didn’t look happy anymore.

o;Can you play something happy for me?”

A sudden rush of irritation struck him at her request, but he fought it back, knowing he needed to control his temper with her. He roughly played “Jingle Bells,” only vaguely remembering the right keys. Entranced, Haven’s eyes sparkled as she watched his fingers.

The room fell silent when he finished the song. “Merry Christmas, bella ragazza.”

She smiled, whispering, “Merry Christmas,” back to him. He stared into her eyes and leaned forward to kiss her when a throat dramatically cleared behind them. He pulled back swiftly. Damn near busted.

“Am I interrupting?” Celia asked, the smile on her lips telling Carmine she knew she was. He started to speak, but Haven ran from the room before he could say anything. He sighed as she disappeared, and Celia sat down beside him on the bench. “So talented.”

He rolled his eyes. “I butchered that song. I haven’t tried to play it in years.”

“Haven thought you played it great.”

“That’s because she’s never heard it before. She thought my fuck-ups were intentional.”

“You’re being self-deprecating. Your mother was always proud of her little Mozart.”

He didn’t respond. She knew he wouldn’t, though. He never did.

“She recognizes me,” Celia said. “That’s what your father and I were talking about. She saw me when I visited Blackburn.”

Carmine sat still as that sank in. “Did you ever think about helping her when you were there?”

“Believe me, kiddo. I wanted to. I talked to Corrado about it, but it was out of my hands. It’s their business and—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He cut her off. “Keep business and personal separate, the code of conduct, and all that bullshit. I’ve heard it all before.”

“I see you’ve been talking to Salvatore,” she said. “Anyway, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a girl hiding somewhere I should have a talk with.”