Medicine Man

Usually, she has a smile on her weathered face but today she looks a tiny bit frazzled. “Happy Monday, everyone,” she begins, her greeting sounding less than enthusiastic. “Hope we’re all doing well and enjoying our breakfast.”

At this, she gets cut off as a couple of people boo her. It doesn’t deter her, though. “I tell you this with a very heavy heart, that…” She sighs. “Friday night, Dr. Martin suffered a sudden heart attack and had to be hospitalized over the weekend, and…”

She swallows, trying to gather herself, as a shock wave runs through the room. “And, well, he’s doing fine right now, and he’s expected to make a full recovery. But it means that he won’t be able to come back to work for a few weeks.”

The murmurs and boos that had died down before Beth started talking come back to life, louder, more agitated.

Even though I’m not the one contributing to the ruckus, I’m kind of shocked, too. He was fine the last time I saw him. He smiled at me in the hallway, his white mop of hair glinting in the afternoon sun that was filtering through the big window in the TV room. He was chatting with a few patients, who all looked at him like he hung the moon. For them, he probably did.

He is super popular with the patients and the staff.

I remember thinking, how can you love your doctor? I mean, he’s a doctor. A psychiatrist, no less. Someone who prescribes you meds and arranges your life in a series of therapy sessions. But even I wouldn’t wish any harm on him.

Beth manages to calm people down with the help of techs and continues, “I know you guys are upset and I understand. Of course I do. I’m upset, too. Some of you have been very close to him, and I promise you he’s fine. I’ll let him know how much you guys love him. He’ll appreciate that.”

Smiling sadly, she takes in a deep breath. “But for now, I’m here to tell you that we’ve been very fortunate to have found a replacement for him. He’s due to arrive today and he’s an excellent doctor. I’m sure you guys will love him, and everybody will get along in this difficult time, okay?” She shoots a couple of pointed stares around the room. “If you have any questions, come find me or any of the staff members. We’re all here to help you.”

She’s ready to leave when Renn calls out, “Hey, Beth! Who’s the new guy? The one we’re supposed to love and get along with.”

Beth turns around and raises her eyebrows. “Right. Thank you, Renn, for shouting out that question. The doctor you’re supposed to love and get along with is Dr. Blackwood. Dr. Simon Blackwood. He’s coming to us from Boston. Mass General, to be specific. They have one of the most reputable psych departments in the country.” She throws a pointed stare again. “As I said, you’re in more than excellent hands.”

With that, she leaves, and noises recommence.

Renn murmurs, “Well, we already guessed the doctor part. Ugh. Is he age-appropriate for me to fantasize about or not?”

Penny spits back, “He’s a doctor. All talk about his looks is off-limits.”

They begin fighting but I tune them out. I’m frozen, trapped by the sound of a name.

Simon Blackwood.

Dr. Simon Blackwood.

He’s a doctor.

Actually, no. He’s an excellent doctor.

And he’s coming here.

Damn it.

The weather is miserable, and I love it.

It’s raining like it won’t rain ever again. The winds are battering against the window, shaking the whole hospital.

I hate that I love it so much. Because I can’t be outside and feel the sky fall on my body. I almost want it to take this stupid Victorian house apart, even though it’s a testament of a great love and all, so I can escape. We can all escape. I’m sure forty determined patients will be able to move a certain automatic gate up front.

We’ve been cooped up inside the entire day and it blows. Not to mention everyone is wary and shaken up about the new arrival.

Community group was really agitated today. This group is basically where they explain and re-explain the hospital rules and take in complaints from the residents. And today every complaint was against a man who managed to upset everyone, and he isn’t even here.

Sophie, a girl with severe insomnia, burst into tears, saying she came here to get better and not deal with this shit. If she wanted to deal with change, she would have stayed with her mom and her ever-changing boyfriends. Roger, the guy with homicidal ideation and Renn’s crush of the week last week, was worried about the vibe he’d get from the new doctor. He’s big on vibes and auras.

I’m usually quiet in such groups because my only complaint is that I don’t belong here. I’m sure it won’t go over too well with the therapist who handles the group. But then people started getting agitated when Renn expressed her own faux fears to rile things up: what if he does something to us in our sleep? I’d be so scared to fall asleep now.