Bad Boy Blues

“Really?” Grace’s eyes are wide.

“Yes. Oh my God, his fingers. They were just so warm.”

I grit my teeth. I know all about his fingers. I know how warm they are, how rough, how the pads are callused and scraped.

I know what they feel like when they’re on my thighs, in my hair, on my pulse.

I know.

As they talk and talk like they know him, I admit that I’m kind of jealous. It’s been a week since he rescued Art and I haven’t had a chance to talk to him.

Not even once.

It’s not as if we’re friends or anything, that I can casually walk up to him and say, hey. In fact, up until a few days ago, I was praying for him to leave. Although now I’m thinking, what if he leaves and I don’t get to say something?

It’s not that I don’t see him. We live in the same place. Of course I see him.

And I mostly see him with Art.

Since Art’s accident, I’ve apologized to Doris a thousand times. She’s pretty chill about it but I can’t get rid of the guilt. I’ve said sorry to Art too but again, he doesn’t mind.

These days, he’s pretty happy actually. Courtesy of Zach.

I’ve seen them together numerous times. Mostly, they’re by the pool and I see them while going back from my shift. I deliberately walk slowly just to watch them together. Sometimes Zach works out – he works out twice a day; it’s crazy – and he lets Art be his spotter. Art counts his reps and claps when he’s done and tries to imitate him.

One time I saw Zach lying on the ground with Art in his arms, straight up. Grunting, he lowered Art, who laughed like he’d never seen anything funnier. Then, Zach raised him in the air again, like he was doing bench presses. Only instead of weights, he had Art.

I think my knees trembled at the sight.

I never knew Zach could be so… sweet and sexy at the same time.

A few times, I’ve walked up to them to pick up Art on my way back because Doris still somehow wants me to watch him while she’s working.

But Zach and I, we don’t talk. He doesn’t even look at me. Sometimes it feels like he can’t stand the sight of me. And I don’t understand why. I don’t understand why it bugs me.

The only person who isn’t a fan of Zach’s is Tina. She hates him, and that’s saying something.

“God, I can’t believe how everyone’s so crazy about him. Can’t you see, people? He’s the devil. Fine, he saved Art. But what about all the other things he’s done? What about them? People can be so stupid.”

“You sound like me,” I tell her while dusting the library in tower two one day.

“You know, I’m glad you’re moving on and all. But you need to be more upset about this.” Then she gasps. “You know what would be the best thing ever? You should go out with Ryan. That’ll show him.”

“Oh, here’s another great idea: why don’t you go out with Ryan? You used to like him as much as me.”

She goes quiet and it takes me about ten seconds to figure out why. And when I do, my squeal is loud. I mean, really loud.

“Oh my God, you like him,” I shout, poking her shoulder with my duster. “God, Tina. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t like him.” She rubs her shoulder. “I mean, I used to like him but not anymore.”

“Either stop lying or stop blushing. You like him and you’re going out with him.”

“I’m –”

“And I’m dressing you up.”

“No way.”

“Yup.”

Tina looks at me guiltily. “But I don’t –”

“Look, Ryan’s great but…” I repeat what Zach said to me that night in his bathroom while he was dressing my wounds. “But he wouldn’t have made me happy.”

***

I promised Maggie that I wouldn’t break into the main house under any circumstances.

Not to mention, the suite I want to break into belongs to the guy who told me to stay away from him.

But I’m not much of a rule-follower. Besides, I deliberately left my phone in the staff room on the off-chance that it might come to this. If someone catches me, I have a perfect excuse.

So I’m in my stealth mode again. Black hoodie, black shorts and quiet leather boots.

Okay, in my defense, I’ve tried everything else. It’s the dead of the night and I can’t sleep. I should be tired after a full day’s work but I’m not. I even read the books I bought on astronomy; apparently, I’m into reading these days.

And stargazing.

Every night for the past week, I’ve searched for Orion. I looked it up on the internet. It’s a winter constellation, supposed to be only visible from January to March.

It’s winter here – although, all we ever feel is the heat – but I can never see it.