Straight Up Love (Boys of Jackson Harbor 2)

She looks away. “No. I don’t.” When she looks back to me, her smile is wobbly. I’m grateful that my brother brought Ellie into my life—I barely knew her before she started dating Colton—but I wish he’d grow up a little. Half the time I want to tell her to break up with him because she deserves better.

“I know my brother isn’t perfect,” I say, studying my friend. “You don’t have to pretend around me.”

“I’m no saint either, but we’re fine. I promise.” She nudges the stack of gifts on the counter. “Open these.”

More presents. There’s no topping Jake’s gift, but I’m all warm and fuzzy about being spoiled by another awesome friend. “You really didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to.”

Grinning, I unwrap the first gift, pulling off the paper and opening the box. Inside, there’s a black teddy made of the softest lace I’ve ever felt. “This is gorgeous.” I try to keep the what the fuck from my voice. The gift is gorgeous, and if I had someone to wear it for, I’d be really excited to show it off. But I don’t, and it’s not exactly the kind of thing you wear to binge-watch Netflix by yourself. Never mind the fact that if all goes according to plan, this won’t fit me in a few months.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she says. “You’re thinking you don’t have a man, so you don’t need this, but I fixed that. Open the next gift.”

“If you got me an inflatable boyfriend, I swear I’m never speaking to you again.”

She chuckles. “I thought about it, but I think we can do better than that.”

I pick up the next gift. The box is light as air, and when I pull the lid off the box, I realize why. There’s nothing inside but a slip of paper. I unfold it and stare in disbelief. “Ellie, you didn’t.”

She beams at me. “I did.”

I’d like to think I’m keeping the cringe off my face, but I’m terrible at hiding my emotions, so more than likely she knows how I feel about her gift. It’s a voucher for Straight Up Casual, a local dating company that hooks up area singles for casual, low-pressure blind dates that have only one requirement: you start your date with a shot of hard liquor to “loosen up.” I always thought the idea was absurd, but since the service introduced Ellie to Colton, I’ve kept that opinion to myself.

“I love that you want to take your life in your own hands,” she says. “I get it. You’re thirty now, and you’re afraid it’s too late for love, but I promise you it’s not. Don’t rush to the sperm bank yet.”

I study the piece of paper, even though it has no new information to offer. “I have different priorities than you do, Ell.” Ellie’s young. She and Colton might get married sometime soon, but Ellie isn’t like me. At twenty-five, babies are likely the furthest thing from her mind. When I was twenty-five, I was engaged. A year later, Harrison and I were newlyweds trying to get pregnant.

Trying and failing.

“Your priority isn’t having a baby,” she says.

“Actually, it is.” Did she miss my whole explanation yesterday morning about how a child is the one thing I’m sure I want from my life? In retrospect, I went about this all wrong. Instead of announcing my plan to my friends, I should have kept the news to myself until the pregnancy test was positive. I don’t even know if I can get pregnant.

“No. It’s not a baby that you want. It’s a family.” She bites her bottom lip. “You can make a family in lots of ways, but I don’t want to see you struggle the way my mom did. It’s hard doing it on your own.”

My mom was single most of my childhood too, but I know what Ellie means. My dad might not have lived at home, but he was still around, and I know our financial situation would have been completely different without him. When I was a kid, Mom was a secretary at a construction company. She didn’t finish her Ph.D. or get her first tenure-track position until I was a junior in high school.

“It can’t hurt to give Straight Up Casual a shot—even if it’s not love, it could be fun. I bought you ten matches.”

My jaw drops. “Ten? Jesus, Ellie, I don’t think there are ten single guys in this town I’d be willing to date.”

“And that attitude is exactly why you’re still single.”

“Okay, for argument’s sake, let’s pretend there are ten guys right here in Jackson Harbor I’d be interested in. I suck at dating,” I say. Ellie knows this. She’s seen the disaster that has been my love life since my divorce.

“That’s why I hired Straight Up Casual to help. They have a way of finding people their matches, and you deserve oodles of fun dates, and if they’re all duds, I’ll personally squirt the spooge up your hoo-ha. You have my word.”

I make a face. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll pass.”

She laughs. “You know what I mean. I’ll support you in any way you need.”

“Thank you,” I say softly.

“So the dates?”

“I’ll think about it.” I want to mean it, but I’m already thinking of calling the company and asking about transferring the dates to someone else. Teagan might be interested. She’s always complaining about how hard it is to find decent single guys in Jackson Harbor, but I don’t think she’s given up on love like I have.

“Yay!” Ellie stretches her arms overhead in victory. “Now, let’s go to Ooh La La! so I can buy you a piece of birthday cake.”