Dirty, Reckless Love (Boys of Jackson Harbor 3)

“The property line is about a hundred yards that way.” He waves toward his Mustang and the woods beyond. “But there are a few acres of forest between the road and the next house. That’s why I like it. No one’s ever out here—not even my brothers.”

I laugh. “Funny, I’ve only ever been to the cabin because I wanted to be with people, but here you have this place where you get away from them all.”

He shrugs. “I love them, but sometimes it’s too much. There’s always someone in your business, always someone in your space. You can’t have a bad day without being expected to explain yourself.”

“Would you change it? I mean, if you had a choice, would you rather be from a smaller family?”

He narrows his eyes and shakes his head. “Not for the world.”

“I wish I’d had that growing up. Someone to make me talk when I was lonely. Someone to be in my space before I even realized I needed them.”

“But you have a sister. What was your childhood like?”

“It was good. A little lonely sometimes. Mom worked a lot, and Brittany is six years older than me, so when I was young, it seemed like she was always babysitting or cleaning houses or whatever. We all did as much as we could to make ends meet. We were trying to get by. I had neighbor friends, but girls can be . . .” I sigh and shake my head. “I’d have killed for a big family who was always around. Normal kid problems.”

“If I’d known you back then, we’d have let you be part of our crew. We’d have dragged you to the lake in the summer and brought you out here to sled and ride snowmobiles in the winter.”

“Like you did with Ava?”

He nods. “Sure. There’s room for everyone.”

I lean my head against his shoulder, oddly comforted by being hypothetically included. “You know what I love about your family?”

He pulls his gaze off the water and brings it to me. “What’s that?”

“Everyone else wants to be on Lake Michigan—not just because of the beauty of it but because of the status. Your parents could have afforded to buy one of those fancy houses along Jackson Harbor’s Lakeshore Drive or a luxury condo in Chicago, but instead they bought this place.” I shrug. “It says a lot about them, you know what I mean? They aren’t proud or pretentious. Just real people with very clear priorities—family and time together.” I wince, realizing I’m speaking of Levi’s late father in the present tense. “I mean, that’s what your mom’s like. I assume your dad was the same.”

He’s quiet as he studies me, and then he nods slowly. “He was. I wish you could have met him.”

“Me too.” I look up into Levi’s dark eyes. If I could read his childhood through the lines on his face, I’d study him until the sun set. Levi’s one of my best friends, but I don’t know his secrets or his fears. Suddenly, I want to know it all. “Do you miss him?”

Levi’s shoulders sag. The muscles in his throat move as he swallows. “Some days my grief makes me miss him. On those days, it’s this aching emptiness in my life. He was a big guy with a big laugh and bigger dreams. It’s easy to miss that.”

“And other days?” I ask softly.

“Other days my grief is something to be carried. A heavy coat in the heat that I can’t shake off. A hundred-pound stone I have to lug everywhere. He made everyone better, and when he got sick . . .” Levi turns away and digs a rock from the dirt. He tosses it into the water. “It shook me. It shook all of us. I watched all my brothers and my sister become the best versions of themselves in the light of Dad’s sickness. Brayden stepped into his shoes in the company and worked nonstop. Ethan was a star student in med school. Carter landed a job with the fire department, and Shay started writing articles and publishing years before she was expected to. Maybe they’d have done the same things if he hadn’t been sick, but it felt like they were trying to win him back. As if their achievements could make the cancer go away. But not me. I knew the score. Life’s not a game with a ref who’ll stop the clock when shit’s not fair. We could do everything right, and he was still going to die.”

“So you ran around with Colton and did everything wrong?”

He shrugs, his jaw ticking. “I wasn’t real analytical about it at the time, but pretty much. I did anything that pushed the boundaries of right and wrong, and then I just dove right into wrong.” He sneers. “And Nelson was happy to give Colton and me all the opportunities to do his dirty work. He exploited Colton’s addiction . . . and mine.” He digs another stone from the dirt.

“Addiction?”

“The thrill.” He smirks. “Adrenaline junkie.”

“Aren’t all motocross racers?”

“I imagine. On some level, at least. But not all motocross racers are stealing cars for a man who already had more money than he knew what to do with.”

“He had you stealing cars? Not dealing drugs?”

Levi’s fingers are dirty from digging out rocks, and he stares at them. “Just cars for me. But I don’t know about Colt.” He makes a fist. “He might have made some runs for some people.”

“Colton never told me details, but he alluded to Nelson’s shady friends. Like maybe all his old man’s money wasn’t from being a lawyer.”

“Oh, hell no. Nelson’s dirty down to the muck where he’s locked away his soul, and there’s gangster shit in there somewhere. He’s the polite, high-society face of the shitty people he protects in court. Nelson was responsible for laundering mob money.”

I close my eyes. Not because I don’t want to believe it, but because it’s so clear now. “That’s why he opened the art gallery.”