Dirty, Reckless Love (Boys of Jackson Harbor 3)

“I . . .” I turn to Levi, then back to her. “I’m sorry. I won’t say anything. I . . .”

“It’s okay,” she says. “You can talk about it. I’m done with secrets.”

I close my eyes as my brain clicks the pieces into place. Molly told Colton the truth about her son’s father, and Colton spiraled out of control, then Nelson went missing. And now they have evidence. “What did he do? What did Colton do to Nelson?”

Her hand shakes as she lifts it to her face. “I don’t know. I never wanted Colton to hurt him. I swear to you, Ellie, I just wanted to come home. To be close enough to my mom that she could watch her grandson grow up. I wanted that without having to see Nelson. I just wanted to live my life without being afraid.”

I wave to the couch. “Sit down. Tell me everything.”

She slowly lowers herself onto the cushion, and I take the seat beside her. Levi sits in the chair, elbows on his knees.

“Nelson McKinley is a sick man,” Molly says, “but as a ten-year-old girl, I didn’t understand that. He loved me, and I was starving for a father figure, for some security for my mother, and a life like the other girls had. I believed that what happened at night was just the price I had to pay to live a normal life. And every once in a while, he’d stop. Sometimes I’d have months between his visits, and I’d believe it was over. But it never lasted.”

“Jesus,” Levi says, scraping a hand over his face.

“By the time I hit high school,” Molly says, studying her hands, “I’d do anything to stay out of the house. I volunteered like crazy, joined every club possible, and fucked around a lot. I thought if I could sleep with enough guys, I could wash away what he’d done to me. If he was one of a hundred men who’d been inside me, he would matter less, wouldn’t he? But it never worked, and no matter how long I stayed away, I could never escape him.

“When you’re a child, it’s so clear who the victim is and who the predator is. But when you’re a grown woman, people don’t want to believe you.” She swallows hard. “He hadn’t touched me since I was sixteen. That night, I’d pulled a knife on him, threatened him if he touched me again. But when I was visiting that summer after undergrad, he caught me with my guard down. He was drunk and just too strong.” She lifts her eyes to mine. “And I ended up pregnant.”

“Oh, Molly,” I whisper. “He’s so awful.”

She shrugs, as if it’s no big deal. As if this story she’s telling is about nothing more than the ugly paint color of her childhood bedroom. “There I was. Well-known slut. Blow Job Molly, pregnant with her stepfather’s baby.” She shakes her head. “Sluts don’t get to cry rape—not if they want to be believed. So I didn’t. I hid. And I told my mom that Colton was the father in case Noah came out looking like a McKinley. At that point, Colton was in trouble—getting in fights a lot, nights in jail for his wild behavior. I told Mom I didn’t want to tell him, and she agreed that we could keep my secret. From everyone. She just didn’t realize I was keeping it from her too.”

“Or she did and didn’t want to admit the truth to herself,” Levi says.

“But after Ava saw Noah, you had to tell Colton the truth,” I say.

“She said if I didn’t tell him, she would,” Molly says. “Ava didn’t see the bad in her father; I don’t think it ever crossed her mind that Noah could be anyone but Colton’s. So I sent Colton a letter confessing my secret, more or less. I should have found another way. Or maybe I should have denied what everyone saw so clearly.”

“What did Colton do when he got the letter?” Levi asks.

Molly grimaces. “He was obsessed. He’d call me all the time in the middle of the night—just to make sure I was okay, just to make sure I didn’t need anything.” She meets my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Ellie. We really were just friends. It was nice, connecting with him like that, having someone who understood to confide in about all the ways Nelson controlled me. When Colton agreed to pretend Noah was his child, I didn’t think anyone would be hurt. It seemed like a harmless arrangement that could spare the people I love from the truth, but I should have known better.”

“Do you think he killed Nelson?” My voice cracks on the words. Part of me doesn’t want to know.

“Colton knew I wanted to move home,” she says, dodging the question. “I had this amazing opportunity with Jackson Brews but wouldn’t take it if it meant living in the same town as my stepfather.” She grips her purse straps tighter, her knuckles turning white. “Colton said he could talk his father into leaving town. He convinced me that he could persuade Nelson to leave. I didn’t know the details of how Colton planned to convince him. I didn’t want to know. Colton made it sound so simple, and I figured it was worth a shot. I never expected that Nelson would just disappear so quickly, and at first I thought maybe Colton blackmailed Nelson into leaving.”

Levi studies her as silence fills the room w

ith what none of us wants to believe. “But you don’t think that anymore.”

She shakes her head. “I . . . I don’t know. My stepfather was a bad man in every conceivable way. Maybe Colton just couldn’t handle it anymore.”

Levi and I exchange a look. Anyone else hearing this information might laugh. Nelson McKinley is the best-known lawyer in town, and he’s done stints on the city council and downtown development boards. On the surface, he’s a model citizen, but Levi, Colton, Molly, and I all know better.

“I should have known he was using,” Molly says. “Instead of agreeing to whatever he had planned, I should have talked to you and gotten him help. But I didn’t, and then you got hurt too.”

“Molly, I don’t believe Colton would hurt me. Surely, you don’t believe that either.”

“Sober Colton wouldn’t do anything to hurt you,” Levi says.

“He needs help, Ellie,” Molly says, apology softening her tone.

There’s a heavy knock on the door, and Levi gets up to answer it. “Ben?” he says, pulling the door open.

The detective’s face is grim. “Hi, Levi. May I come in?”

Molly tenses and looks back and forth between me, Levi, and the detective.