If It's Only Love (Boys of Jackson Harbor 6)

“He said the ring was a family heirloom he was taking to the bank.” I press the back of my hand to my mouth as another wave of nausea hits. “But it turns out he’s a liar, so who really knows?”

She nods slowly. I’m so grateful that she’s not freaking out on me about all this. “So George is a liar. This is a good reason for a breakup.”

“That’s just it. I didn’t even know the truth when I broke it off with him. Everything’s too complicated right now, and there are so many variables. I wasn’t sure I wanted George to be one of them.” I groan. I’m annoying myself. “And he was kind of pissing me off by implying any future that didn’t involve an academic position would be an immature choice.”

Teagan sinks to the floor and leans against the cabinet. “What a dick.”

“That’s not even all. There’s also the part where Easton heard George talking to someone on the phone and calling her Buttercup, and then George was kissing me and called me that, which he’s never done before.”

“You think he was cheating?”

“It’s worse than that,” I whisper. “He was cheating, but not on me. With me.”

She grunts. “Well, who gets to decide that if neither of you knew about the other?”

“No, Tea. I’m the other woman. George is married.”

“Wow.” She wraps her arms around her knees. “I think you’re more mature than I am. I’d probably be in jail by now.”

“I need to tell her he was sleeping with me.” I draw in a breath. “It’s the only way I can forgive myself for being involved with a married man.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You had no way of knowing.”

Intellectually, I know she’s right. This isn’t my fault. But when it comes to marriage and families, I’ve always believed everyone is culpable. “I hate him. We weren’t even using condoms. If he’s really sleeping around, God knows what he could’ve given me.”

Her eyes go wide. “You weren’t using condoms?”

“I’m on the pill, and he said he’d been tested. I thought the whole not-planning-to-fuck-anyone-else part was implied.”

“Shay, you’ve noticed your symptoms lately, haven’t you? The queasiness? Aversion to alcohol? The constant exhaustion?” She points to the toilet. “The puking.”

I wipe my forehead one last time then my mouth. “It’s the stress. It jacks with my stomach.”

“But you weren’t using condoms.”

I wave a hand. “No worries, Mom, I’m on the pill.”

“But—”

“And I haven’t missed a period.”

Her lips buzz with her dramatic exhale. “Thank God. Sorry, that’s the first place my mind goes.” Her smile falls away. “But you do know you should get tested for STIs, right? Just in case?”

I wipe my face again. “I know. I’ll call my doctor.” My purse vibrates from the middle of the bathroom floor, and I frown at it.

Teagan arches a brow. “Is that your phone or a malfunctioning sex toy?”

I roll my eyes but then lose my smile. “I’m afraid it’s Easton. I said some pretty shitty things to him, and I’m not ready to be a mature adult and apologize.”

“Given that he threatened you with kisses and was coerced into wall sex, maybe it might be a decent idea to cool off before you talk.”

I nod. This is reasonable. But I’m staring at my purse, willing it to do that buzz, buzz, buzz thing that happens when someone sends one text after another. But it was just the one.

“Do you want me to look?” she asks. I nod again and watch with way too much anticipation as she pulls my phone from my purse, unlocks it, and opens my texts. Her forehead wrinkles as she reads.

“Is it from him?”

“Yeah.” She turns the phone to me so I can read.

Easton: I never chose Scarlett over you. She would lose that matchup every time. I chose my daughter over myself.

My breath whooshes out of me, and the nausea comes roaring back.

“Okay. So there’s still a lot I don’t know about you and Easton, it seems,” Teagan says. She takes my hand and squeezes it. “You know you can tell me the truth, right? I won’t judge you if . . .”

“If I was Easton’s mistress? If he cheated on Scarlett with me?”

She grimaces, probably because of my word choice. “I understand better than most people that many situations are more complicated than they appear on the surface.”

“Like with you and your ex?” I don’t know everything about Teagan’s past—I guess we both have secrets—but I do know she and Carter got together when he was pretending to be her boyfriend to protect her from an old flame.

“Something like that,” she says.

I reread Easton’s text. Then I read it again. I already knew he was choosing his child. How can I explain that the true motive behind his decision made it so much harder? I couldn’t hate him. I couldn’t be angry about his choice when it was the only choice to make. “Ten years ago, he and Scarlett broke up after dating for probably six months,” I say. “And not long after that, my long-term boyfriend broke up with me while we were in Paris.”