Lost In Me (Here and Now 1)

“HAS ANYONE ever told you that you work too much?” Max asks as the front door swings closed behind him.

I hand Mrs. Oaks her non-fat cappuccino and smile for her benefit as I say, “Takes one to know one.”

She smiles back. “Could I also have the rest of your cheese Danishes, sweetheart?”

“Of course!” I grab a box off the shelf behind me and fill it.

“I’m going to surprise the ladies at Bible study with them,” Mrs. Oaks says as I ring her up. “I brought them chocolate croissants last week, and you’d have thought I brought them each a piece of the moon.”

“You’re too sweet!”

“It’s all true.” She pays and tucks the box under her arm. “You two have a lovely day. Tell your mom I said hi, Hanna.”

“I will. Thanks.”

Max steps behind the counter as the woman leaves. We’re alone in the front, only us and the sounds of Drew doing cleanup in the kitchen. He slips his hands under my shirt from behind me and draws me against him.

I tense.

Nuzzling the side of my neck, he takes a long, deep breath. “You smell like clean sheets and flowers,” he murmurs. “I just want to breathe you in for days.”

The heat of his mouth against the side of my neck should be sweet and delicious, but instead it makes my stomach hurt. “You’re distracting me,” I protest lamely.

“Mission accomplished.” His hand moves farther north and cups my breast, and even as part of my body reacts, warming and purring for more, another part of me is thinking about Nate. The way his whispers sent an electric buzz of pleasure through my veins last night. The regret in his eyes as he pulled away.

Max must sense something, because his hands still and he takes his mouth off my neck. “Are we okay?”

Three words. A simple question. My throat grows thick. “I didn’t like the way you ran off to be with Meredith last night. It hurt me.”

He withdraws, pulls his hands out from under my shirt, and steps back. “I didn’t go off to be with her. It’s not like that.”

I set my jaw and cross my arms over my chest. I don’t want to know his reasons or what kind of emergency she had. “It made me feel like I was less important to you than she is.”

He exhales heavily and drags a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry you felt that way.”

“That’s not an apology.” I spin and push into the kitchen. All my life I’ve struggled with telling people when their actions hurt me, and all too often it meant being used and trampled. The reason my twin sister is my closest friend is because she doesn’t need to be told when I hurt. She can tell without me saying it.

I grab a tray and fill it with snickerdoodles from the cooling rack.

“I was just about to do that,” Drew says, hands on her hips. She took the early baking shift this morning—thank God, since it was after two when I finally got to bed.

“I got it,” I mutter.

“Don’t let your shitty mood ruin my hard work,” she grouses.

“Drew,” I hear Max say, “can you cover the front so I can talk to Hanna?”

“Trouble in paradise?” she asks, but when I glare at her, she throws up her hands and scurries to the front.

“Did I miss something?” he asks. He crosses to me and turns me to face him.

Instead of meeting his eyes, I stare at his cheesy gym logo on his chest: Hallowell Health Club, Fitness to the Max.

“What’s really going on here?”

I close my eyes. I feel so childish, like the teenager who throws a fit when she sees her boyfriend talking to another girl. “I remembered Valentine’s Day,” I admit.

“Valentine’s Day?” He looks lost.