Lost In Me (Here and Now 1)

“You wish,” Maggie mutters before she zeroes in on me. “Hanna, spill.”

“She doesn’t—”

I hold up a hand. It was only a matter of time, right? “It’s okay. I made this mess and now I have to live with the consequences. Maggie should know.”

“It started in St. Louis, didn’t it?” She looks heartbroken.

“She doesn’t have her memory, remember?” Lizzy defends.

“I don’t know much. But the night I got home from the hospital, I woke up with Nate in my bed, and he was really angry when he saw my ring.”

“Jesus.” Cally drags her hand over her face.

“You can’t say anything to Will,” I plead with her. “Not until I tell Max the truth.”

“You haven’t told Max?” Nix says.

“Amnesia, remember?” Liz says. “She can’t even remember being with him.”

“But he climbed into your bed,” Maggie points out. “Did you ask him what’s been going on between you?”

“He’s not real keen on talking to her,” Liz says. “You know, given that she chose the other guy.”

“But you know for sure there was something going on between the two of you?” Maggie asks. “You and Nate Crane?”

“You’re one to talk,” Liz retorts. “You’re fucking Asher Logan. Seriously, what’s happened to this town? And when do I get a sultry affair with a sexy rocker?”

Nix shakes her head as if to clear it and grabs the martini shaker from Lizzy’s hand. She pulls off the top and takes a drink straight from the shaker. “No wonder you’re so anxious for those memories to come back,” she mutters. “I’m anxious for you to get those memories back.”

“I know, right?” Liz says. “I want details, and whether she remembers or not, I’m pretty sure I’m never going to get them.”

“What about Max?” Worry is written all over Cally’s face. “You are going to tell him, right?”

“I have to,” I whisper.

“Hanna!” Lizzy says.

“I’ve made up my mind, Liz. I’m giving my brain one more week to share any details it has hidden in there and then I’m telling Max what I know. For better or worse.”

Liz exhales heavily. “You’re stressing me out. Thank God we have chocolate.” She pops another truffle into her mouth and moans again as she chews. “Oh, hell, that’s better than sex.”

“No, it’s not,” Cally and Maggie say in unison. Then they giggle, and Maggie nudges me. “Come on. Don’t make me feel like the dirty ho here. I know you guys agree with me. That chocolate is good, but it’s not better than sex.”

“I wouldn’t remember,” Lizzy says. She takes the martini shaker back from Nix and takes a gulp.

“Sisters in unwanted abstinence,” Nix says.

Lizzy gives her a high five. “An exclusive club that no one wants to join.”

“Tell me about it,” I mutter.

The girls stare at me, and Liz bites back a laugh. “Hanna just found out she and Max don’t have sex. She’s not taking it very well.”

Maggie’s eyes go wide. “But you’re, like, twenty-three. And you and Max have been together for months. How does that even happen?”

“She’s saving herself for marriage,” Lizzy says. “Who knew any of the Thompson girls would make it to marriage with her virginity? Mom would be so proud.”

“So you weren’t having sex with Nate Crane?” Cally asks.