Devil's Bargain

He doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t let me go, not for a second and all I can think is how warm he is. How soft his skin is over all that muscle and I find myself melting into him. Again, this feeling of something solid at my back. Something safe.

I should pull away. This is too close. But when I try, he just tightens his grip.

“Sleep,” he says as if he hears my thoughts, hears the chaos in my mind.

And I do as he says because in a way, it’s nice, this. Someone to look after me, even in the context of this strange arrangement. Even if he doesn’t know it or realize it.

But am I safe here? His temper, I got a glimpse of it tonight. It’s fierce, like him. He’s volatile and I can’t forget for a moment how dangerous he is.

And then there’s this. Him like this, his arm around me, his body curled around mine, holding me. Is it stupid to say protecting me? I know it’s just in my head. I have to remember that I am a warm body to him. One he paid to have in his bed.

His comment about the imbalance, the inequality of our relationship, he’s right. I can try to deny it all I want. I can try to hide from it, but it’s the truth.

He bought me.

He owns me.

I push that thought aside and just let myself feel this, feel safe, just for a little while. Just for one month.

Because as long as I’m his, I’m safe from Sean. And I have to remember that’s the reason I’m doing this.

What happens after the month is over?

I force that thought away too. I just want to sleep. I want to forget and sleep and feel safe.

Safe in the bed of this beast.

I’m alone when I wake the next morning, just like the last time I woke up here. And I’m tired. Heavy with sleep and maybe the wine or just Hawk’s sudden and immense presence in my life.

I get out of the bed and go into the bathroom, splash cold water on my face. I look at my neck, at the bluish marks there. The big print of his hand.

Strange that I sleep so heavily here. Safe in his arms even though it’s his hands that left these bruises.

I switch on the shower and step beneath the flow, making a note to buy conditioner because he doesn’t have any. I use his shampoo, inhaling the scent of him, and scrub my body. When I’m finished, I switch off the shower and wrap a thick towel around myself.

Digging my wide-tooth comb out of my bag, I sit on the edge of the tub to comb through the tangles of my hair. Dark strands fall to the floor as I pull the comb through.

That’s going to bother him. I lose a lot of hair every day. I also leave clothes lying around and don’t always put the cap back on the toothpaste.

The order and almost clinical sparseness of his penthouse will be marred.

Messy.

When I can pull the comb through my hair without it catching, I get up, find my toothbrush on the counter—note that his electric one is in its holder. I pick mine up, smear his toothpaste on my brush and brush my teeth as I pad barefoot through the bedroom.

But as soon as I walk out into the hallway, I stop because I’m not alone.

There’s a man at the elevator.

I’m at the far end of the hall and his only acknowledgement to me is a nod. He quickly shifts his gaze away maybe because I’m wrapped in a towel.

I swallow the toothpaste and steel my spine, holding my towel tight to me as I make my way inside.

“Where’s Hawk?” I ask.

The man looks at me and he’s the same one from yesterday, the one who stood outside my house. The one who’d offered me the ride yesterday morning that I’d refused.

“I’m to look after you. I’ll take you where you need to go.”

“I don’t need that. I have a car.”

He doesn’t budge.

“You can go,” I try again.

He looks me square in the eyes and there’s a hardness to him. I wonder if he got in trouble last time. “I’m to look after you, Miss.”

“Where’s Hawk?”

“He had business to take care of.”

I wonder if that business had to do with what I overheard last night. Back into the bedroom, I grab my phone type a text to Hawk.

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

I get a reply right away. “Brian will drive you anywhere you need to go. My terms, remember?”

Yes, I remember.

I log into my banking app and it takes me a minute to read the number there. I’ve never had this much money in my bank account. Ever.

Fifty percent up front. Fifty afterward. That was the agreement and he’s kept his end of it. Maybe that’s why Brian’s here. To keep me from taking this money and running out on him.