Devil's Bargain

“You don’t know what they did to me,” I say harshly.

She steps toward me. “I’m sure it’s a lot to take in, especially with your father’s—”

I chuckle. It’s an ugly sound.

“No, I’m not overwhelmed by emotion or sorrow for the loss of my father. I lost him long ago. If he was ever a father to me at all.” I check my watch, run a hand through my hair. “Go have a shower. I’ll have someone change the bed so you can sleep. I’ll come for you after I meet with Benjamin.” I don’t want her talking to Declan or anyone else.

She reaches down to pull up her panties and jeans.

“What’s going on with you?” she asks.

I turn away, and everywhere I look, I see memories. Remembrances. Hell, I almost see him.

And worse than seeing, I feel how much I’ve lost.

Fuck.

It’s not supposed to be like this. I’m not supposed to feel like this.

“Hawk?”

“I need to take care of some things. Talk to Benjamin. Understand.”

“Understand what?”

“Get cleaned up. Shower. Take a nap. Whatever. But you’re not to leave this room until I come to get you.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.” I walk to the door.

“Hey!” She follows, grabs my arm. I turn and see on her face that she’s taken aback by what she sees on mine. It takes her a moment to continue. “Don’t take it out on me. I’m sorry your father died and that you had to come back here, but I am not your enemy. You brought me, remember?”

I snort.

She has no idea.

“You’re tired, Melissa. Get some rest.” I open the door to leave, anxious to talk to Benjamin.

“Tell me why you bothered to bring me if you’re just going to be a jerk to me. At least tell me that.”

I stop, turn to her. “Do as I say. You know how you’ll be punished if you don’t.”

Her face pales and her mouth opens, but she doesn’t say anything.

Fuck. I don’t mean that. Not after everything.

“Melissa—”

She clears her throat, shakes her head and when she looks at me, her eyes are different. Wounded.

Crap.

“You’re right. I am tired,” she says. “Tired of you and your secrecy. You accuse me of it and look at you.”

I don’t have a comeback. She’s right.

A moment later, she turns and disappears into the bathroom. I hear the lock turn.

I look at the closed door, take a step toward it, but stop. I have to deal with my brother now.

I walk out the door telling the maid along the way to change our bedding as I head down the stairs and into my father’s old study.

My study now. Almost.

Along the way, I’m looking at everything I pass, remembering everything, the paintings, the rugs, the feel of the stone walls and even their smell. God, I’d forgotten how Scotland smells. How this house smells.

But I can’t think about all of that because if I do, it will overwhelm me, and I can’t let that happen.

Not now.

Not here.

Not ever.

25

Hawk

“Nice of you to join us,” Declan says.

I ignore him.

Benjamin is sitting behind my father’s antique desk and a man I don’t recognize is standing beside him pointing to something on a document. He’s introduced as Michael Smith, one of the attorneys of the estate.

Declan watches me from his place at the far wall. He’s leaning against it and has the bottom of his right foot resting on it. His arms are crossed over his chest and he looks so different to how I remember him. Older than he is.

I wonder how he sees me.

Last time I saw him he was fifteen years old. Benjamin has sent photographs over they years, but I threw most away.

When my father married his mother and he became my brother, I was excited about the idea. I liked Declan, we were close, even.

But that was when I’d thought he was my stepbrother, not a half-brother. We were friends before that, too. When my mother was alive.

But with my mother’s death, everything changed.

And being back here, it brings back all those old memories. Those old betrayals.

“How’s the master bedroom?” Declan asks.

I look at him, eyes narrowing.

“Fuck her in the laird’s bed yet?”

I cross the room in three steps and grip him by the collar. He does the same to me, his grip as powerful as mine. If we fought, we’d be equally matched. Two Goliaths at war.

“You will talk to me with respect.”

He gives me a one-sided grin. “Your ears grow delicate, brother?”

“I am not your brother and I will demolish you.”

“I doubt it.”

“Look around you, Declan. I already have.”

“No, you demolished him.”

That renders me mute.

“Stop it, both of you,” Benjamin orders. “Sit down.”

“I tried to shield him from the truth of what you did, you know that? Of what you were doing to your own family.”

“He wasn’t my family. He chose.”

“Imagine that. I had to protect my father from his own son. His first-born.”