The Doctor Who Has No Chance (Soulless 11)

It was three in the morning when my phone rang on the nightstand.

The sound made me jolt up in bed, and despite the fact that I was still asleep, I answered the phone with a steady voice. “This is Sicily.” I didn’t even check who the caller was because my eyes were closed. My fingertips felt the cool sheets. My body was tense on the soft mattress.

“We’re trying to reach Dr. Hamilton. He’s at the top of the call list.”

“For what?” I opened my eyes and looked into my dark apartment, seeing my half-open closet on the other side of the room.

“The transplant. The heart will arrive in forty-five minutes. Will he take the procedure, or should I call the next physician on the call list?”

When I heard that, I was instantly awake. Fuck, what day was it? “Uh…” I pulled my phone away from my ear to see the calendar. Tomorrow—well, actually today—was Friday. Perfect. “I think so. Let me call him.”

“I already did. He didn’t answer.”

“Just give me five minutes, okay?”

She sighed. “If I don’t hear from you in five minutes, I’m calling the next physician.” She hung up.

I flew out of bed and threw on a sweater before I called Dex. No answer. I called again and again, pulling on my shoes and grabbing my purse because I was seriously about to sprint down the street to get to his apartment and wake his ass up.

But he answered on the fifth call. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

I didn’t even have time to appreciate the way he called me that without even thinking. “Oh, thank god. I just got a call from the hospital. The heart is being medi-flighted and will land in like forty minutes. You want to take this procedure, or should I tell them to call the next person on the call list?”

He was quiet.

“Today is Friday. I can cancel all your appointments at Kline. I need an answer right this second.”

His voice had been raspy a moment before, but now it was strong and clear. “I’m in.”

I waited in the back seat of the car and watched Dex jog out of the building in his blue scrubs. He made it into the back seat, and we drove off right away. At this time of night, there was no traffic—which was a godsend.

He looked wide awake despite being woken up in the middle of the night. His hair was combed back, his jaw was cleanly shaven, and his eyes were bright like it was the middle of the afternoon instead.

“I didn’t have time to grab you something, but I got these from home.” I opened my bag and placed the homemade turkey sandwich, chips, and sliced apples on the center console between us. “And the mug has some coffee.”

He pulled the sandwich out of the bag and took half. “Thanks. You didn’t have to come, by the way.”

“Where you go, I go.”

He smiled before he took a bite of the sandwich.

“Are you nervous?”

He took his time chewing before he answered. “No.”

He went from being utterly terrified and uncertain to the most confident man I’d ever met. It shone through even more after Catherine tried to make it right between them. That had seemed to give him the vindication he needed to embrace who he was, his skills and brilliance.

“I do the best I can, but in the end, God is the one who decides.”

“Your family doesn’t seem religious.”

“We aren’t. But there’s something beyond medicine we don’t understand. There’s only one thing it can be. I’m the best at what I do, and I give every patient the greatest chance of survival. But sometimes, it’s not up to me. I’ve learned to make my peace with that. I focus on the thousands I’ve saved, not the few I’ve lost.”

“That’s a great way to look at it.”

He continued to eat his sandwich before he moved on to the second half.

“How long will you be in the OR?”

“About four hours. So, you can cancel my morning, but I’ll be available for the afternoon.”

“Alright. Anything else I can do while you’re in there?”

He shook his head. “You can go home and get some sleep.”

“I’m not going to be able to sleep until you’re done. I’ll be waiting for you in the office, like always.”

He was finished with his sandwich, so he just stared at me, completely calm like he wasn’t about to scrub in and do a very tricky procedure, having the gift of a god but the humility of an average person. “That’s my favorite part about surgery…knowing you’re waiting for me.”

On a particularly challenging day, I tried to give him something to look forward to.

He loved food, so I grabbed his favorite meatball sandwich from the deli across town, getting there right when they opened, and then picked up his favorite soup from another place, and then some fried churros with chocolate sauce. It was a very eclectic meal, but regardless of the outcome of the procedure, he deserved something good.