The Doctor Who Has No Chance (Soulless 11)

“I will, Mom. Don’t worry.”

“And take care of Sicily, alright? Don’t let her leave your sight.”

“Never.”

She kissed my cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Dad hugged me next, one of his big hugs with his palm cupping the back of my head and a kiss to the forehead. “Call me if you need anything. You know I’ll be there.”

“I know.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too, Dad.”

They filed out, and everyone else gave me hugs goodbye. When they were all gone, I shut the door, and it was just Sicily and me. We probably wouldn’t get much sleep tonight, not for a good reason, but because I never slept well before a flight and she was probably nervous for the trip we were about to embark on.

The second we were alone, Sicily’s mood plummeted. She moved to the couch and took a seat, sitting upright, like she had something to say.

I moved to the spot beside her and looked at her. “Baby, what is it?”

“I’m not going with you tomorrow.” She kept her eyes down on her hands as they rested on her knees.

Now I understood what had been bothering her all week. She was too scared to come with me, and she probably felt guilty because she was always there for me. She probably felt like she let me down. “Baby, it’s okay. Really. I’ll be fine. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.” While I was disappointed she wouldn’t be there to help me, I wasn’t angry at all. I was self-sufficient and would handle everything on my own. I wanted to take her on safari and see some of the local sights, but it was different to travel abroad as a woman than it was for a man, not that I would let anything happen to her.

“No…that’s not what I mean.” Her eyes were still down, unable to meet my look.

Now my heart sank, plummeting just the way her mood had.

“The only reason the three of you aren’t together as a family is because of me…and I just can’t live with that.”

My heart literally skipped a beat at her words.

“So, I’ve hired someone to replace me, and I’m going to train them while you’re gone—”

“Are you serious right now?”

She stilled.

I caught her by the back of the neck and forced her to look at me, to see the rage in my eyes. “No.”

Her eyes started to water. “I’m sorry—”

“I don’t want to hear it. This is not happening. I’m not letting you do this. It’s absolutely ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous. Think about it, Dex. You really want to drop off Ryan at Catherine’s for the rest of your life? Have to deal with that pain every single time you let him go? You want to take turns over the holidays? You want to do all of that when you would have taken her back before you even knew about Ryan if it weren’t for me? If there’s a chance that you guys can work it out, you should, especially since you still love each other—”

“I love you, Sicily.”

She winced like I’d struck her. “I think you love her too. I think you feel too guilty to go back to her when you know you should, because you already hurt me once and you don’t want to do it again. You promised you wouldn’t hurt me, so you’re keeping your promise…but you don’t need to—”

“That’s completely untrue.”

She pushed my hand off her neck. “I’ve been part of this for a long time, Dex. I know how you feel about her. I know how you felt about her. And if the only reason you two aren’t together is because of me…that’s not right.”

I shook my head, my jaw clenched so tightly that my mouth hurt. “Sicily, you’ve got it all wrong—”

“No, I don’t. I love Ryan, and he deserves to have his family together if there’s a chance. If you’d been divorced for a while and naturally went your separate ways, that’s one thing. But that’s not your story at all. You would have found your way back to each other, even without Ryan, and I think that makes me the villain here.”

“The villain?” I asked incredulously. “Sicily, you’re being stupid right now—”

“Listen to me.” She raised her hand to shut me up. “I’m a woman. I’m naturally maternal. And despite the way I feel about Catherine, I understand how she feels, that family is more important than anything, and I can’t stand in the way of that.”

I shook my head.

“This isn’t a negotiation, Dex. I’ve made my decision.”

“If you really think I’m gonna let you walk away, then you know nothing about me.” She was my whole goddamn world. I’d just pictured myself asking her to marry me so we could have kids to keep them close in age to Ryan. I’d literally pictured my future with this woman. “What am I doing wrong to ever make you doubt the way I feel about you? Why don’t you fucking get it?”