Bad Girl

“Months. I missed meeting him by months. He killed himself and never even knew I existed.” He reaches out, placing his hand over mine. I quickly jerk my hand back. “My mom didn’t tell me about him. I only found out after she died when I was going through some of her things.”

“Do you wonder why she might have not told you about him?” Yes. All the damn time. For so long I thought it was because he didn’t want me. But according to Chris, that wasn’t the case. There had to be a reason why my mom kept me away. Sometimes we could barely make ends meet, but she never reached out to him for anything. Not even child support. Before he’d lost it all, it seemed my father was more than well off.

“It wasn't her decision to make.”

“You’re right. I think as a partner these things can be difficult.”

I nod in agreement. “I hate that I’m angry with her right now. It’s not what I want to feel when I think about her.”

“There is nothing I could say that will make you feel better, sweetheart, but I’m sure your mom had her reasons. But you have the right to be mad, and I’m guessing she’d understand that.”

“You’re right.” I nod. She would have.

“You won’t stay mad. You’re still working through it, but one day you’ll think of her and that anger won’t be there.”

“I’m not sure that day will ever come,” I admit. “All I ever feel is anger. It’s consuming.”

“Would you like me to look into your father? See what I can find?”

“No!” I went too far. “Don’t. It is what it is.” Warren starts to stand to come over to me. “I need a second.” I dart past him, quickly heading down the hallway to escape to the bathroom, where I can lock myself inside and get it together.

Why in the hell did I tell him all that? Once I opened my mouth, it all came spilling out. He sat there actually seeming concerned for me. I turn the water on and begin washing my face. I will not let myself cry. I have a mission to complete, and I need to focus on that. I can’t allow Warren to keep distracting me.

When Chris found out I was here with Warren, he was fucking over the moon. He’s pushing me to get closer to him. Problem is, it’s Warren that’s getting close to me. It pissed me off too that Chris wanted me to use my body as a weapon. I’m not a damn temptress.

It doesn't mean I can’t get information still from Warren without that. I pull out my phone and text Chris. I should have done it hours ago. Why I didn’t, I have no clue. It might even be too late at this point.

I fill him in on the Park Hill deal. I pull the saved file and attach it before I delete any trace of the information off my phone and put it in my pocket. Guilt is starting to eat me alive.

It’s seeping in from all around me. Guilt for my father and not staying on top of my game. Guilt for what I might be doing to Hugo Reality. Warren said it used to be his father’s. And to my surprise, the part I feel the worst about is the fact that I’m betraying Warren. I shouldn’t have any guilt over it, but I do. No matter how many times I reassure myself that I’m avenging my father’s death, the guilt still remains.

I grab a towel to wipe off my face. The only time the guilt and anger aren’t trying to consume me is when Warren has his hands on me. The control he had over my body felt good. It was freeing. I could let everything go for those few moments and bask in the pleasure.

I want more. I’m sure I could have it, get my fill and bide my time, but it makes me feel cheaper than I already do.

The problem is, I’m not sure I could ever get my fill. I’m always going to want so much more.

Chapter Fourteen

Warren

Leila looks pale. I thought her refusal to play chess was odd, like she’d had some negative experience and now associates the game with bad memories, but maybe she isn’t feeling well.

It’s been a stressful few days, I guess. Not everyone is fueled by pressure. It’s time to get her out of this house.

“Do you have a jacket? It’s only around sixty, and I’m going to bring the convertible out. It can get cold.”

“Where are we going?”

“For a drive. There’s a property I recently bought, but it needs a lot of renovations and build outs for the new commercial tenants. I want to go check up on the progress. Call it a business field trip.”