Inescapable

Her heart beat wildly. She was ready to push his hand away, but couldn’t. Forcing herself to meet his gaze, she found contrition there in his expression.

“Buy that…thing,” he said, gesturing at the lace teddy she’d previously had in her hand. Snatching up a couple of pairs of exotic knickers from the table display, he shoved them into her hand. “Those too, just hurry up about it.”

Her eyes stung with the threat of tears and she blinked them away, refusing to give in to it. His expression was still tense, and he didn’t make contact with her, but it was enough. She nodded, relieved. At least she knew he wanted her to wear them, he wanted to see her in them. Silly though she knew it was, her body warmed through again, gladly.

Seth groped in his pocket, pulled out his wallet and slid her a wad of notes.

“It’s okay,” she said, “I can pay.”

He shook his head. “No, I’ll pay.”

There was an emphatic tone to his voice, and the comment came out much louder than he meant, she was sure of it. “But…I can afford it.”

“For god’s sake, Lily,” he declared, loudly, “it’s my fault you don’t have any decent underwear!”

The assistant dropped the display she was working on and stared over at them before she bent to retrieve it.

Lily looked at him, and now she was the one who was lifting her eyebrows. What with the prim Mrs Conroy and her remarks about Sunday school teaching, and then this, they were causing quite a stir in Conwy. “That’s very chivalrous of you, Seth, but I have my credit card.”

Seth grasped her hand, holding her in against him, and then whispered close against her ear. “You must use cash, sweetheart. Cards can be tracked. If you use your card now that can pinpoint your location for someone who knows how to work the system.”

Someone like another cop, a cop who was working for the man who Adrian was testifying against. When his message hit home, she felt as if they were finally coming to an understanding of each other. This was hard for her, but it was for him too. “Right, of course. Sorry, I didn’t think.”

He nodded his head at her. “Be safe, okay.” He pushed the cash into her hand. “And hurry, please.” With that, his attention was once more on the street outside.

He was constantly worried about Adrian, and about her, too. Lily took a deep breath, and then smiled over at the assistant who was watching them. She tried to look normal—whatever normal might be. Given her current, unexpected circumstances she’d lost touch with normal. Laden with feminine guilt, she clutched the underwear that he’d liked and took her stash to the cash register.

“You’ve made some lovely choices,” the assistant commented as she began to scan the price tags.

Lily nodded.

“We have matching accessories for this item.” It was the black lace one-piece. The assistant reached onto the shelf behind her and lifted lace topped stockings.

“You have to have the full set.” It was Seth, and he was back at her side.

Lily nodded, and the two items were added to the bag.

Moments later they were on their way. They walked to the car double-time.

Seth didn’t say a word. He kept one hand under her elbow all times.

“I’m sorry about the credit card business,” she said, as they reached the car and they were out of earshot of anyone else around. “I should have been more…cautious. I feel clueless.”

“You are clueless, but that’s no bad thing. I’d hate to be shagging a woman who knew about this sort of stuff, that wouldn’t bode well.” He was joking, trying to put her at her ease, but he also turned her to face him, and this time it didn’t skip her attention that he was shielding her body as they stood outside the car.

Looking deep into her eyes, he studied her. “This is a difficult situation. It’s unfortunate you had to be dragged into it, but my duty is to protect.” His hand cupped her jaw, and she turned and kissed his palm. “I’ve been doing this job a long time, maybe too long. It’s lonely work. You’re good to be around, Lily, you’re a breath of fresh air. You’ve made this…easier on me.” After a long moment, during which she could scarcely breathe because of the way he looked at her, he sighed and his glance flickered away. “But I can’t ever totally forget why we’re here.”

She found it strangely hard to speak, but she wanted to. Difficult as this was, she wanted it, because she felt more connected to him than she had at any point in their time together, and she didn’t want the moment to escape. She rested her hand against his chest. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t more aware of that. I should have known. I’m having fun with you and Adrian, I can’t deny that, but deep down I’m worried about the stuff I had to leave behind. I should have been more aware of what you and Adrian are dealing with too.”

His gaze locked back on hers. “You couldn’t possibly know how all this works, how it affects someone like Adrian, or me.” He stroked her hair. “I don’t expect you to know, but sometimes I can’t be exactly how I want to be, with you.” Again he paused. It was as if he wanted to say more, but couldn’t decide how much or what to say.

Lily knew better than to push him. He’d said enough. He’d revealed more about himself inside that one minute than he had in three days. She stared up at his handsome face, her emotions tangling. “I’m sorry about the lingerie.”

“I’m not.” Smiling sardonically, as if brooding on some inner thoughts, he shook his head, and nodded his head at the passenger door.

She turned to the vehicle and her hand went to the door handle automatically, but he closed his over it, making her pause. “In this job,” he continued, standing close at her back as she waited for him to open the door for her. “I signed up for it all, to protect or die. When we are outside the safe house I can’t afford to be distracted. Duty has to come first when you’re protecting witnesses, and that means both of you.”

Every part of her back was protected by his body, just as he had in London outside Adrian’s office, and it was so subtle but so obvious that she had to bite her lip to stop herself from responding.