Good Omens
“You did, didn’t you?” said Crawly. “It flamed like anything.”
“Er, well—”
“It looked very impressive, I thought.”
“Yes, but, well—”
“Lost it, have you?”
“Oh no! No, not exactly lost, more—”
“Well?”
Aziraphale looked wretched. “If you must know,” he said, a trifle testily, “I gave it away.”
Crawly stared up at him.
“Well, I had to,” said the angel, rubbing his hands distractedly. “They looked so cold, poor things, and she’s expecting already, and what with the vicious animals out there and the storm coming up I thought, well, where’s the harm, so I just said, look, if you come back there’s going to be an almighty row, but you might be needing this sword, so here it is, don’t bother to thank me, just do everyone a big favor and don’t let the sun go down on you here.”
He gave Crawly a worried grin.
“That was the best course, wasn’t it?”
“I’m not sure it’s actually possible for you to do evil,” said Crawly sarcastically. Aziraphale didn’t notice the tone.
“Oh, I do hope so,” he said. “I really do hope so. It’s been worrying me all afternoon.”
They watched the rain for a while.
“Funny thing is,” said Crawly, “I keep wondering whether the apple thing wasn’t the right thing to do, as well. A demon can get into real trouble, doing the right thing.” He nudged the angel. “Funny if we both got it wrong, eh? Funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one, eh?”
“Not really,” said Aziraphale.
Crawly looked at the rain.
“No,” he said, sobering up. “I suppose not.”
Slate-black curtains tumbled over Eden. Thunder growled among the hills. The animals, freshly named, cowered from the storm.
Far away, in the dripping woods, something bright and fiery flickered among the trees.
It was going to be a dark and stormy night.
Good Omens
A Narrative of Certain Events occurring in the
last eleven year
s of human history, in strict accordance
as shall be shewn with:
The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter
Compiled and edited, with Footnotes of an
Educational Nature and Precepts for the Wise,