Who Breaks First (Clearwater University)

“Well, how’s it going? We haven’t talked about it in weeks. Maybe it’s even been a month.”

“I’ve just been staying focused. Haven’t missed one class yet.”

“And your grades are okay?”

I feel all the air evacuate my lungs. The truth is, I have no idea how my grades are doing. I just know I’m falling behind. Because I can sense that I’m falling behind, I haven’t wanted to look at it to know the actual damage. I’ve wanted it all to go away.

“I think so,” I finally say. “I mean, we

haven’t had midterms yet, but they’re coming up soon.”

“Well, just keep me posted. How you’re feeling and how you’re doing are incredibly important to me.” Dad reaches over to pat my knee.

“Okay,” I reply, trying my best to not look guilty as hell.

Sometimes I think all my fear that Dad is going to find out is a waste of time, because he doesn’t see any of it. Maybe it’s a kind of fatherly blindness or something. He never saw the truth of what was going on in high school, even when the bullying was at its worst. And if my dad has rose-colored glasses when it comes to me, then that’s perfectly fine. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’d throw myself in front of a bus before ever letting him know the amount of suffering I’ve been through.

“Good. Then let’s go. I’m starving.” He hops out of the car and then comes around to open my door for me, offering me his arm as we head toward the restaurant.

“No valet parking?” I joke, seeing all the SUVs out front.

“Anyone who valet parks a Prius is just asking for embarrassment.”

As we walk up to Louie’s, I see a lot of people who look more dressed up than me, but I don’t care anymore. I’m about to meet the woman my dad loves, and as much as I want to make a good impression, I want her to get to know the real me too. Inside the restaurant, everything becomes dark and cool. Louie’s has a vibe that’s very modern and old-school at the same time.

“Right this way,” the hostess says, leading us to a booth way in the back.

As we approach the booth, I see a woman already seated on one side of it, wearing a little black dress. My footsteps falter, and my breath catches in my throat.

It suddenly occurs to me that Dad never told me he wanted to introduce me to his new girlfriend, just that he wanted to take me out to dinner with her. It makes sense now. I don’t need to be introduced to this woman, because I already know her.

It’s Trent’s mother.

And sitting next to her in the booth, looking angrier than I’ve ever seen him, is Trent.

10

Trent

My mom has never introduced me to any of the men in her life, and quite honestly, I never ask. So when she tells me there’s someone special in her life that she wants me to meet, I figure it has to be pretty serious. I’m not gonna lie; if I don’t like the guy, then I’m gonna straight-up tell her that.

I won’t let my mom be taken advantage of by some douchebag. She’s been through enough already.

Things have been going okay in the past few weeks of school, and I can tell Emma is about to throw in the towel, which delights me to no end. I don’t want to see her leave Clearwater U so much as I want to see her crumble.

As I sit next to Mom at Louie’s, of all places, there are a lot of things going through my mind. My mom is drinking a chardonnay and wearing a black dress, which tells me she really means business. I threw on a pair of slacks and a white shirt because I guess that’s what you do when you go to a steak house. Quite frankly, I’m not interested in this dude thinking I’m trying to put on a show for him, because I’m not.

We got here early, so we’re killing time until her date arrives. As I stare at the candle flickering on the table, memories I’ve purposefully repressed for years filter through my mind.

My parents got divorced in my junior year, four months after dad learned that Mom kissed another man. Those four months after my dad got the anonymous tip were like hell in my household. I can’t blame him for being angry, but he laid into Mom in such a serious way that I wanted to kick him out myself.

Mom was a mess about it all, which is understandable. She went to therapy and a bunch of shit like that. It hurt like hell watching it all go down, wishing I could save their marriage, that I could save my mom from my dad’s wrath, but not being able to do shit about any of it.

As far as I know, Mom hasn’t really dated at all since the divorce went through, so whoever this joker is we’re meeting tonight, he better be worth her putting her heart back on the line.

“You okay?” I cut my gaze to Mom, and I can see that her hand shakes a little when she goes to pick up her wine.

“Oh! Yes. It’s funny, but I’m kind of nervous,” Mom says, taking a sip.