Close Enough to Touch (Jackson Hole 1)
She shook her head.
“I never thought I’d have the guts to beg again, but look. Here I am on my knees for you, begging you to stay.”
“You aren’t on your knees.”
“No, but I would be, if I thought it would work. You have a job here. And friends. Just try, Grace. See how it feels.”
She shook her head, but at least she didn’t say no out loud. With her, that was progress.
“When I went to L.A. all those years ago, I didn’t exactly receive a hero’s send-off. I’d lived here my whole life. I had friends, a job, obligations. I had a girlfriend I walked away from. And my dad… We fought. We pushed each other. We said terrible things.”
He felt Grace tilt her head to look up at him, but he didn’t meet her gaze.
“I burned all my bridges and left everyone behind so I could hang out with glamorous strangers. Two months later, my dad died. That was what I came home to. No family. Friends I’d treated badly. Responsibilities I’d tossed aside. But I came back because this was my home. People forgave me faster than I forgave myself. And no one needs to forgive you for anything. You haven’t hurt anyone. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of.”
“But it’s not my home, Cole.”
“Are you sure?”
She fell silent. He slid a hand over her hair, wondering why she’d changed it. He’d liked the purple streaks, but he was happy to have her back in his arms. He could get used to any hair color she wanted. He let her rest there for a long moment, hoping she’d change her mind. But she didn’t speak.
“I’m scared, too, you know. I might never ride again. I’ll find out in a couple of weeks.”
“Find out what?”
“I’ll have a CT scan, and then they’ll tell me I can’t ride again, and I have to figure out what that means.”
Her hand spread over his chest. “You’ll be okay.”
“I won’t be. That last time I saw you at the ranch, I’d finally realized it. I’d ridden and I couldn’t even stand on my own afterward. It’s over, Grace. But it’ll be okay.”
“But what will you do? If you can’t ride…”
His throat felt thick, but Cole shook it off. “I’ve always been good with numbers. I’ve got the money I saved up for the ranch. I can take some classes. Go back to school. I can learn to manage the business side of a big place. Maybe one of these dude ranches. It’s not my dream, but it could be my choice.”
Her fingers pressed into him. He covered her hand with his.
“Maybe your leg is okay,” she whispered.
“Maybe,” he conceded, just because she sounded so sad. “But I don’t think so. It scares the hell out of me, but that’s okay.”
“You’re really scared?” she asked softly.
“I am. I’d be a fool not to be. So maybe fear means we’re still alive. Maybe it means we haven’t given up yet.”
“Cole,” she said. Just his name, and then she was silent for a long time. So long that Cole wondered if she’d fallen asleep. But she suddenly pulled away, shrugging the blanket off her shoulders as she sat back. She looked up at him with angry eyes. “Do you even like me?”
He blinked. “What? Of course I do.”
“No. No, not ‘of course.’ I know you want me. That’s not the same thing. Sometimes the things you’ve said, or the way you touch me…”
“Grace,” he breathed. “I’m sorry. If you didn’t—”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t have. I’m saying that’s not the way you want a woman you love, is it? A woman you like and respect? You wouldn’t want her that way.”
He whispered her name again, stunned that she could think that. Heartbroken that he’d made her feel that way.
“You said it yourself, that you’re not like that with other women.”