Looking for Trouble (Jackson: Girls' Night Out 1)

“Just like that?”

“We had a talk. He seemed reassured, but I insisted we go ahead with the testing. Did you know you can order a kit online? The world is weird these days. But I think just getting it out in the open helped him feel better.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“Don’t talk that way about your brother.”

She nodded, but she didn’t apologize. Her dad might forgive such a thing easily, but she wouldn’t.

“How are you doing, sweetie?” he asked. “I know Mrs. Bishop hasn’t been kind to you. And after this...”

“It’s fine,” she said, not mentioning the little breaking-and-entering incident. “I’m fine. But I’ve been thinking....”

“I hope you don’t want a DNA test, too,” he said.

She laughed at his dry delivery. Sometimes it took people a while to realize when he was joking, but she always heard his wry humor.

She sat down with her coffee and her dad joined her. “You always took such good care of me.”

“Of course I did. You’re my little girl.”

Tears sprang instantly to her eyes at those simple words. Her throat closed. She tried her best to swallow the tears.

“Dad, you never gave me any reason to feel this way, but when Mom vanished, I was so scared. I thought you wouldn’t want me anymore. You weren’t my real dad and you had no reason to keep me—”

“Sophie,” he scolded.

“I know. I know you didn’t feel that way, but I was so little, and I knew Mom had done something wrong. I wasn’t sure what, but I knew it was bad, and I didn’t want to be bad. I didn’t want to be like her. I just wanted to stay with you.”

He reached out and took her hand and the tears were back.

She breathed deeply, slowly, trying to get control.

“I took care of you and David. I wanted to. Because I wanted you to be happy and I needed you to be happy with me.”

“Sophie, I adopted you so you wouldn’t ever feel that way.”

She nodded. “I know. But that was two years later. And really, I just took it as proof that I had taken the right tack. That I was earning my keep.”

“Oh, Sophie. You were my daughter from the moment I laid eyes on you. You didn’t have to earn a damn thing.”

“I know,” she repeated, a sob breaking free when she spoke. She wiped her eyes with a rough swipe and sniffed hard. “I know that, but I was scared, Daddy. She just disappeared and suddenly everything was in question. Anyone could leave, even me.”

He squeezed her hand hard. “I guess I should’ve been smarter about it. I should’ve gotten you some counseling at school, or something.”

A watery laugh escaped her at the idea of old Mrs. Simmons in the school counselor’s office doing anything to help. “Maybe. But we did the best we could. Both of us.”

“We did,” he said.

“I’m only telling you now, because I need to find a way to stop feeling that way. I...I just never got past it. I need to feel like you need me, because if you don’t...” Her voice cracked but she for

ced herself to continue. “If you don’t need me, then why would you love me?”

“Girl,” he said, his fingers digging into hers now. “You know that’s not true. I love you like crazy. I always have and I always will. There’s nothing you can do to end that. Nothing.”

She nodded, but she couldn’t speak now. She was choking on tears. Her dad pulled his chair closer to hers and put his arms around her.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear to you. I thought it would be easier if we went on as if things were normal. I thought that would be better for you.”