Looking for Trouble (Jackson: Girls' Night Out 1)
She nodded. She needed to tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he hadn’t known, but all she did was weep into his shoulder.
“Shh,” he murmured. “You’re fine.”
And she was fine. She knew that. She’d be fine if she could just stop crying all the time.
“I don’t know if I should tell you this, Sophie, but I haven’t actually needed you for a long time.”
She nodded, but she frowned into his shoulder.
“When David was little, you took care of all the things I never would’ve thought of. You gave this place a woman’s touch. But after that, I just assumed this was how you liked to spend your time. When you moved to your uncle’s house, I was hoping you’d start forgetting about us.”
“What?” What the hell? Was everyone crazy except her?
“You need to get out and start your own life, Sophie. You always wanted to travel. When are you going to do that?”
She slapped a hand to her mouth, half laughing and half crying. “Have you been talking to my friends?” she gasped through her fingers.
“Why? They been telling you the same thing?”
She shrugged.
“Then I guess I should’ve set you straight a long time ago. Cut the apron strings.”
“I’m the one with all the aprons!”
“And you’re too young for that. Go on. Stop hanging out with your old dad.”
She pulled a napkin from the holder and mopped her face.
“I hope you and your brother are done with confessions. I can’t take any more. At least space them a few years apart.”
“All right. I’ll save the next one up for a while.”
He nodded. “You want to come out with me today? I’m just riding the fence. You loved that when you were little.”
“I can’t. I’ve got work.” She’d have to reconstruct her face again and try to look dignified for her visit to Jean-Marie’s office. If she could’ve stayed and rode the fence with her dad, she’d have been the happiest girl in the world. But she wasn’t a girl anymore. She was far past it. She had to start facing up to that.
She gave her dad a long hug, then watched as he took on her role and found a portable mug to pour her coffee into. He even wrapped up one of the rolls she’d made the week before and stored in the fridge.
“Thanks, Daddy,” she whispered as she took her care package. Just this small thing was different. A signal to her that he didn’t need her.
He didn’t need her.
She said it to herself as she got in her car and headed back to town.
It felt awful, but it was the truth. She’d tried to make herself indispensable and she’d failed. But if she’d failed, and he’d still loved her for all these years, then...
Sophie took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
She’d wanted this her whole life. To know that he loved her no matter what. And to be free to fly and know he’d be there if she fell.
Oh, God. She could do that. She could leave and it would be okay, because he said it would be.
And sometime in the past two days, she’d finally realized something important. She didn’t have to fear turning into her mother. Not in that way. Her mother had never meant to leave at all.
So now what? She could walk into work without fear of being fired, because she could move on. Move away. Do something different. Her relief was braided up with fear, but she felt a little stronger already. A little more herself.
If she ever saw Alex Bishop again, she’d have to thank him. He’d hurt her, but he’d told her the truth, at least. He was the first one to see through her so clearly.